Search found 84 matches
- 31 Oct 2013, 21:02
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Cyber World
- Replies: 8
- Views: 17522
Cyber World
I lost my IPS provider He got fed up with me savagely cutting the cord Our correspondence becoming increasingly discordant and meaningless A jumble of contractual misdemeanors and the tyranny of the multinational in free fall I missed this room this world different to reality Having a reality of it ...
- 31 Oct 2013, 20:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The poem I tried to write
- Replies: 4
- Views: 12840
Re: The poem I tried to write
I am enjoying your work more Billy. I like this transient moment, I think you expressed it well. Sometime I think these are what life is about when we enjoy the moment above all else and have the time to ponder.
- 30 Sep 2013, 16:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Study in Collapse
- Replies: 6
- Views: 17932
Re: A Study in Collapse
Its still a stinky poem Woetrame!
- 30 Sep 2013, 16:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Little Girl
- Replies: 2
- Views: 9148
Re: Little Girl
Yes, spot on Michael, although I did intend to post it as a completed poem. Looking at it I am disappointed and I feel it comes across as trite. I failed to elicit the emotion that I had meant and it is but a pale shadow of what I had intended.
- 25 Sep 2013, 14:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Little Girl
- Replies: 2
- Views: 9148
A Little Girl
A little girl ran hand in hand with her daddy She reminded me of shining ponds of ducks and fish and silly stories That pleased my child so The camera captured Her small arm hugging me across my vast shoulder Greeting her at the airport She instantly hopped to my knee like a sparrow I became her Opa...
- 23 Sep 2013, 03:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Stranger
- Replies: 3
- Views: 10879
Re: The Stranger
Over dramatical presentation about nothing we would wish to know.
- 23 Sep 2013, 03:21
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Blind In Autumn.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11092
Re: Blind In Autumn.
Your words do not flow, it is a poem that is like coitus interuptus and we all know how painful that can be.
- 23 Sep 2013, 03:20
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Proximity (First poem posted here; new tot he site)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 11862
Re: Proximity (First poem posted here; new tot he site)
Well done, a nice little ditty , but more than that some lines have to be read again. The flow is good the thoughts expressed well, something most people can relate to. I would suggest stronger wording and deeper input. Do not be afraid to put down what you really mean, Is there a women in this, a g...
- 23 Sep 2013, 03:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The meaning of life
- Replies: 8
- Views: 19365
Re: The meaning of life
The meaning of life is a note or a tune; the unconscious tingle of hearts set to bloom. Your soul mate in life one body one soul; when life cannot part you even when old. Soaring in passions the zenith of self; glimpsing one's heaven to take back to earth. Aim higher still to transcend every feeling...
- 07 Sep 2013, 23:21
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Groningen
- Replies: 12
- Views: 26266
Re: Groningen
Thanks Michael One of the best critiques I have ever read let alone from you... well done. It has taken me years to convert from my traditional style and frankly has puzzled me for years. I wrote this poem in plain language years ago and it go not response whatsoever. I thank you for helping me to f...
- 02 Sep 2013, 14:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Groningen
- Replies: 12
- Views: 26266
Re: Groningen
I have added a third stanza to satisfy this insatiable demand for a story. At least, poets are reading and commenting.
- 21 Aug 2013, 22:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Groningen
- Replies: 12
- Views: 26266
Re: Groningen
Thanks Michael, good idea, this last line could be a reason?
- 20 Aug 2013, 02:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Human Evolution
- Replies: 1
- Views: 7938
Re: Human Evolution
Its not really poetry is it Snic? Its a long ponder on life, but you don't really express a coherent thought or provide us with new insights to muse over. The language is mundane and some of it is pretty banal. I suppose this is why no one has bothered to write a review.
- 20 Aug 2013, 02:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Groningen
- Replies: 12
- Views: 26266
Re: Groningen
I can mean whatever you think it means. Thanks for input, there is a story there and I can see why it may sound ironic, there is a reason for morosely ponders.
- 17 Aug 2013, 22:39
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: psalm: "swift of foot"
- Replies: 5
- Views: 15970
Re: "swift of foot"
Son To live it up, it's not DOA it's AOA - alive on arrival Our Father makes no mistakes My joy rhymes with my boy on earth as it is beyond home-free in The Humane Society untouchable as the angel yet forever touching down to keep contact with you always Mama A pot card poem from heaven, in particul...
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:44
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Groningen
- Replies: 12
- Views: 26266
Groningen
A dazzling sun strikes the shading awning a circle of wheels flow fast around our corner clattering bells and peddled steps cast white frivolities high for us to stare We stir sweet coffee grounds and scrape the cup morosely ponder such feminine delights barred by the native tongue Professor Ditmars...
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:31
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Guernica
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11842
Re: Guernica
Great response to modern art, although it does mean something very profound this painting.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:28
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: started as a semi-sonnet, but extended via the conceit
- Replies: 4
- Views: 14233
Re: started as a semi-sonnet, but extended via the conceit
At last a proper poem from Michael (MV) something to get our teeth into, something to savour perhaps! Its deep as Michael is deep and will make us work I am sure. my youth is not lost Atlantis not bone-buried this is how I grieve full-bodied to heighten and even overwhelm the overcome the flesh stil...
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:23
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Yard in May
- Replies: 5
- Views: 15389
Re: The Yard in May
You focus on flowers, all types, I get that. Try saying a little more than just a whole collection of names of flowers, I can identify though, the garden on a warm day with the flies buzzing and the smells of the garden floating around.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Talking To Myself Without Praying
- Replies: 6
- Views: 17817
Re: Talking To Myself Without Praying
I think you are improving in your short strory approach Billy, its a style I like just would like more detail.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Reading Names in the Late Afternoon
- Replies: 3
- Views: 10296
Re: Reading Names in the Late Afternoon
You must be like me involved in genealogy.. wanderers of graveyards.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Last Call
- Replies: 6
- Views: 16623
Re: The Last Call
Too deep for me to comment on.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:14
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ocean
- Replies: 2
- Views: 10053
Re: Ocean
Rich in unnecessary metaphors that jangle like a cheap ride on a funfair. If you wish to be profound about the ocean and it power its ability to transform us into adoring worshipers of salt and sound, and waves that crash and break.. of depths beyond our ken may I suggest a simpler approach.
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Bouquet from Bingo
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11722
Re: The Bouquet from Bingo
It made me think of a time I cried, not outwardly but inside. The pain of the parting grazed my heart like a knife I watched her fade away from me slowly noting my helplessness. How puny are our cellophaned parcels of dead flowers a mocking of the true event of death when we lower her into the groun...
- 12 Aug 2013, 01:03
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25963
Re: Dry Dock Road
Thanks Iap
I will look at your helpful comments, welcome to this poetry site hope you enjoy. Thanks for the effort put in on this tiny work.
Frank
I will look at your helpful comments, welcome to this poetry site hope you enjoy. Thanks for the effort put in on this tiny work.
Frank