Search found 2 matches

by richardc
28 Jan 2013, 01:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "magian"
Replies: 3
Views: 11880

Re: "magian"

Never stops giving, but may vary in quality. "The gift that is never wrapped up free from captivity of packaging." The lack of punctuation and syntax in this first stanza makes the reader (this one anyway) stumble. Maybe something like: The gift that is never wrapped, free from packaging's captivity...
by richardc
28 Jan 2013, 01:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: KILLING THE INNOCENT
Replies: 3
Views: 11974

Re: KILLING THE INNOCENT

I like the contrasts in this. "sack of eggs" and "broken heart"

"in the night" and "at the litle league game"

I'm also a sucker for "slim" poems like this that punctuate themelves.

The title leads you to believe it's about wartime - another contrast.

well done, RC