Search found 71 matches

by dyerfrank
18 May 2014, 23:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Mother's Day
Replies: 4
Views: 5058

Re: Mother's Day

Thank you meenas, I don't intend t work this poem any more, I shall leave it as it is and ponder. maybe a year from now I will look at it again. My thanks to Michael for provoking a response in me with his own effort. My poem was not a response to Michael's effort however , but something that has be...
by dyerfrank
17 May 2014, 22:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Mother's Day
Replies: 4
Views: 5058

Re: Mother's Day

Thank you for responding Michael and giving some time. I shall leave it for a while and think. It was a rant , but I enjoyed it.
by dyerfrank
13 May 2014, 04:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Mother's Day
Replies: 4
Views: 5058

Mother's Day

That day set aside Second Sunday in May Mother’s day The dream child of Ann Jarvis And taken over by marketing men To sell their products in May Forget that day and you don’t love your mam So they seem to say Guilt-button day Pay out five dollars With sweet mushy sentiment That says, Love you Mam Wh...
by dyerfrank
07 May 2014, 00:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: De Afrika
Replies: 7
Views: 7400

Re: De Afrika

Thanks Siva, silly mistake
by dyerfrank
06 May 2014, 02:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: De Afrika
Replies: 7
Views: 7400

Re: Oh Afrika

Thanks guys, this originally was published years ago. I took it out of my bottom drawer to rework and it is much more compact. I don't know what the rules are for reworked poems and whether it is sufficiently different to qualify as a new work. In my opinion it is.
by dyerfrank
05 May 2014, 02:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: De Afrika
Replies: 7
Views: 7400

De Afrika

De Afrika Looking back I remember Mama loved her mealy-meal boiled with salt added rolled into a ball melded with kapenta The falling wind at dusk in the rainy season the sudden swift mayhem of broken boughs from shattered limbs 'Pas op', she would cry In the night darkness the rings of charcoal fi...
by dyerfrank
16 Apr 2014, 15:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Congrats! Siva
Replies: 3
Views: 3970

Re: Congrats! Siva

Congratulations Siva!
by dyerfrank
16 Apr 2014, 03:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: August 1982
Replies: 2
Views: 4166

August 1982

The faint air of its colonial past hung around my new hotel Guards dressed in kaki puttees smiled me through each door From the street - nondescript - a palm tree leaning as they often do The foyer in turmoil, Nigerian women arguing loudly about their fare I wished I had been as half as brave with m...
by dyerfrank
06 Apr 2014, 02:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Photo and a Face - edit 1
Replies: 2
Views: 3473

The Photo and a Face - edit 1

He looked to see his brother's face
return his stare as Donald did
A photo worn and from an early
time, far older than this present age.

He wore a jacket creased and stained
and clutched a book well used and read
all creased and with a golden edge
He knew of course his brother dead
by dyerfrank
03 Apr 2014, 01:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A solace.
Replies: 2
Views: 4091

Re: A solace.

The huge tree in the corner [corner of what? the world the garden? the village? do tell] with branches big and strong [majestic boughs?] spreads itself in width [spreads wide] elongates in varied lengths [spreads... alreadys said] cruises itself to altitudes high [trees cruis? news to me, grows mayb...
by dyerfrank
31 Mar 2014, 23:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Hands Tell A Tale
Replies: 7
Views: 7632

Re: Hands Tell A Tale

Put you to sleep is correct in this context, putting a baby to sleep. Some say, let me put the baby down, also correct, but I never used it.

Putting to sleep and putting down is aslo a metaphor for killing a dog say. I had the dog put down or he was put to sleep.
by dyerfrank
31 Mar 2014, 02:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Pharmacist
Replies: 2
Views: 3939

The Pharmacist

Asking for a remedy He met with an impasse No can do, more than my job’s worth Dai Toad would not give anything for nothing. He could imagine him telling Her, act dull, play safe. He tapped the counter What to do, he stared at her For as long as was polite He noticed her eyes Their texture weaved a ...
by dyerfrank
29 Mar 2014, 16:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Of Petticoats and Bicycles
Replies: 2
Views: 4032

Re: Of Petticotes and Bicycles

Thanks meenas

Thank you for your critique, I appreciate it.

Frank
by dyerfrank
28 Mar 2014, 15:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Road
Replies: 6
Views: 7028

Re: The Dry Dock Road

Thank you meenas, you are too kind.
by dyerfrank
28 Mar 2014, 15:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Hands Tell A Tale
Replies: 7
Views: 7632

Re: Hands Tell A Tale

Beautifully done!
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 17:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Sweeper - version 3
Replies: 2
Views: 4011

Re: The Sweeper - version 2

Thanks for commenting.
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 01:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: First Day
Replies: 1
Views: 3247

First Day

He moved swiftly
among the machines
feeding the fires
His infectious laugh
resounding
up in the roof stays
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 00:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Road
Replies: 6
Views: 7028

Re: The Dry Dock Road

Thanks Anonymous, nice to get feedback. So many come and go on this forum, I hope you stay longer than most.
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 00:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: cinquain-poem
Replies: 6
Views: 6150

Re: cinquain-poem

Very good.
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 00:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Disappearance of Deficit
Replies: 3
Views: 4189

Re: Disappearance of Deficit

It could just your style but I find I can't take to it, but then I also don't like most of Michael's poems because he likes short poems. Because of your style I cannot help much or give any concrete advise, It could be you are very gifted but i cannot see it yet.
by dyerfrank
27 Mar 2014, 00:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Hands Tell A Tale
Replies: 7
Views: 7632

Re: Hands Tell A Tale

Meenas, the poem is wordy, In fact you have gone over the top. It is prose arranged in stanzas. You constantly tell us the obvious, there are no hidden meanings no depths to plumb. You English usage is strange but adequate, I would prefer a simpler style. Could you say and get the same message acros...
by dyerfrank
26 Mar 2014, 23:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Bringing Up Children
Replies: 4
Views: 5240

Re: Bringing Up Children

Spend more time with your children that would be for a promise looking after them with care would prove to be a bliss. Spend time not money on them as the attention you devote necessarily hastens in a great progress definitely that would be an achievement in the float. Spending money on them and on ...
by dyerfrank
26 Mar 2014, 23:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Entrepreneur of Tamil Nadu
Replies: 8
Views: 7474

Re: Entrepreneur of Tamil Nadu

I've just opened my second restaurant. Now I have two card tables, two large bowls for mulligatawny soup. I put up a crepe paper streamer as the Ford Cortina did for a new dealership; red and white tissue flutters among aged canopies of the souk merchants. The pot to my left, Anglo-Indian cuisine wi...
by dyerfrank
26 Mar 2014, 23:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Delusion - version 3
Replies: 4
Views: 5333

Re: Santa

Thanks Michael
You are right, I used the last line in desperation, feeling there should be a punch line. Hackneyed phrases are so good, and yet we must be original. I used the obvious in the title thinking you might not get it... silly me.

Ok I will look at it again.

Frank
by dyerfrank
26 Mar 2014, 02:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Delusion - version 3
Replies: 4
Views: 5333

Re: Santa

Thank you for taking the trouble to reply to my posting. I had almost given up hope. I am glad you liked it. Welcome to the board, I hope you stay and enjoy.

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