Search found 13 matches

by FranklyDire
24 Jun 2014, 01:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Green Goddess
Replies: 6
Views: 5896

Re: That Pungent Plant With Fleshy Leaves

I liked this very much, enjoyed the yarn as it unfolded, savoured the new words. I could poke at it but would it be any better, I wonder. You seem to have such differing styles of writing, its as if you are not one person. I prefer stanzas and they are helpful when a new thought is introduced. At fi...
by FranklyDire
23 Jun 2014, 16:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Have Hope
Replies: 1
Views: 2431

Re: I Have Hope

I HAVE HOPE [Title too long, try: 'Hope'] I look around and see the faces of those who are losing hope. I see the eyes of sadness often veiled by weak smiles from those ashamed to say they are being beaten down by this life. And slowly I am seeing myself in their image, struggling to achieve the Ame...
by FranklyDire
17 Jun 2014, 02:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black As The Coal Workers,The Soot Collects In Her Hair
Replies: 5
Views: 5062

Re: Black As The Coal Workers,The Soot Collects In Her Hair

Grandmother hated waste during her own wedding procession she skipped out to collect fallen mangoes hoarding them in her white sari [A reason for her wastlessness] She loved to talk and ply me with recollections of the railway, of engines fired by coal and hissing steam. At one time, a cycle was bro...
by FranklyDire
14 Jun 2014, 22:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Photo and a Face - edit 1
Replies: 2
Views: 3717

Re: The Photo and a Face - edit 1

Thanks again on behalf of my cousin, now that I red it again I like it more than first I penned it... thank you.
by FranklyDire
14 Jun 2014, 22:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Pharmacist
Replies: 2
Views: 4199

Re: The Pharmacist

Well, thank you on behalf of DyerFrank, he's a cousin of mine. Now that I look on it I see it needs work.
by FranklyDire
14 Jun 2014, 02:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black As The Coal Workers,The Soot Collects In Her Hair
Replies: 5
Views: 5062

Re: Black As The Coal Workers,The Soot Collects In Her Hair

A beautifully penned poem, evocative of a past age - Imperial India. I too as a child placed pennies on the line to watch the wheels run over and elongate the penny to an oval twice its original size. I collected coal thrown in anger by the fireman and was hurt by his anger and so I desisted. I slep...
by FranklyDire
11 Jun 2014, 01:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Turner
Replies: 6
Views: 6366

Re: The Turner

Thank you Siva, I am stuck on 'beautifully', it seems to work for me.
by FranklyDire
07 Jun 2014, 03:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Turner
Replies: 6
Views: 6366

The Turner

He is handed a bar of bronze it flashes a copper haze She sails by the morning He sets his machine methodically prepares the metal for the first cut First grinding his tool testing its sharpness by eye The four jaws grip the work-piece with might pressing the metal tight Clunk thu-dung it clanks wit...
by FranklyDire
04 Jun 2014, 13:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Etymology
Replies: 5
Views: 5439

Re: Etymology

With grandpa’s legerdemain [To me you use legerdemain as if to satisfy some outward demand, i.e. you write a poem using this word, maybe I am wrong but to me it doesn't fit, what trickery, what slight of hand, how did he manage anything in building his mill] parts of the building collapsed [had coll...
by FranklyDire
02 Jun 2014, 00:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Calcuta: August 1982 a work in progres
Replies: 0
Views: 2068

Calcuta: August 1982 a work in progres

A colonial Ghost hung round my changed hotel kaki puttees smiled me through each door Nondescript frontage - palm tree leaning as they do Turmoil, tourists shouting at a driver Could I be as brave with that Sikh taxi Jogappas accosted me but, settled for one hundred rupees Aravan, apparently is not ...
by FranklyDire
30 May 2014, 21:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: August 1982
Replies: 2
Views: 4431

Re: August 1982

Thanks very much Ryan, some valid points have been made. I have reservations about it too. Could the reader cope with my jumping around, you are right there is no measured gradient for the reader to settle down. I bashe dit out some time ago and it is a bare bones sort of poem. I liked you effort at...
by FranklyDire
30 May 2014, 21:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Temple Car Festival In My Husband's Hometown
Replies: 5
Views: 5341

Re: The Temple Car Festival In My Husband's Hometown

Well that's a poor excuse for a poem, if you can't use mauldin properly it ruins the poem. Better to let the poem stand on its own.
by FranklyDire
30 May 2014, 13:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Temple Car Festival In My Husband's Hometown
Replies: 5
Views: 5341

Re: The Temple Car Festival In My Husband's Hometown

Critique Siva, I hope you recognise me, I am related to FRankDire and DyerFrank. I mess up my passwords sometime and so here I am FranklyDire. You poem is developing. I agree with Ryan enough not said of the last two lines, they need developing. I disagree with Ryan about it being a story, I love s...