Search found 1983 matches
- 15 Aug 2017, 11:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Francis Thompson
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12212
Re: Francis Thompson
creases of his palms. He scraped by [I have the same problem as Billy in reading this 2nd stanza. you need a comjunction to show contrast put a 'but' in there. selling matches--opium in grimy pockets to try [do you need 'grimy'? we get the gist] and keep warm. Exhausted, a failure, depression weighe...
- 15 Aug 2017, 02:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Wild Beasts*
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20585
Re: Wild Beasts*
Monacans not Morocans
- 14 Aug 2017, 11:01
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Wild Beasts*
- Replies: 14
- Views: 20585
Re: Wild Beasts*
I agree with Bob, you are on a liturgical roll long may it last, publish them and enjoy the freedom of expression. Rain cleans the casino windows [maybe: washes the sea salt from the . . . ] bright as a yellow tiger. The night [would yellow stiped tiger work?] quiet as a purse thief. [could you use,...
- 12 Aug 2017, 13:55
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Gospel For Sons 13 and Over
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11577
Re: Gospel For Sons 13 and Over
Blasphemous.
If it was against Muslims they would send you a fatma by mail,
their daggers later.
Why to those in the West trample holiness in the dirt like swine.
If you want to write a sexual poem, why bring the Lord into it.
If it was against Muslims they would send you a fatma by mail,
their daggers later.
Why to those in the West trample holiness in the dirt like swine.
If you want to write a sexual poem, why bring the Lord into it.
- 12 Aug 2017, 13:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Carpenters Son
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14287
Re: The Carpenters Son
Suggestions for you to think about in rearranging this is a practical down to earth poem, poems like this I love. I love to roll in the wood shaving, immerse my myself in the smell of pinewood forests and resin seeping from the bark. I love the machines that cut and plane, that sliced shaving from t...
- 11 Aug 2017, 00:07
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Drilling Crew at Rest
- Replies: 3
- Views: 9115
Re: Drilling Crew at Rest
Not a bad poem, needs pruning maybe. Tight, grouped around a stove Legs akimbo, sprawled, resting on a carpeted table sipping genever, sugar stirred in with a silver spoon. The pot-belly emitts a splutter, a flame wanders out of a crevice, a crack in the iron flutters like an angel's wing. Maastenbr...
- 10 Aug 2017, 12:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: These Can Happen
- Replies: 14
- Views: 21369
Re: These Can Happen
Schooling and shoaling is a kind of collective animal behaviour
by fish. Any group of fish that stay together for social reasons
is said to be shoaling, and if the shoal is swimming
in the same direction together, it is schooling.
Nice poem.
by fish. Any group of fish that stay together for social reasons
is said to be shoaling, and if the shoal is swimming
in the same direction together, it is schooling.
Nice poem.
- 09 Aug 2017, 12:30
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Moonlit Orinthologist
- Replies: 20
- Views: 29316
Re: Moonlit Orinthologist
Hi Bernie, I am posting poems, but I am in retreat, working hard writing theology and stuff. I am limited to one poem a month at the moment, thank you for noticing. I am enjoying your work, and the rest of the gang, I do believe this is turning into a proper forum of prodigious proportions. regards
- 08 Aug 2017, 22:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Moonlit Orinthologist
- Replies: 20
- Views: 29316
Re: Moonlit Orinthologist
Let me look at Bernie's very fine poem, is he trying to catch the mood of Sarah's poem, maybe. Yes, a dramatic opening, very good, something we are familiar with in the West, not that India doesn't have banisters. B. introduces the dance hall here in S1., and sweetens it in S3. I love the voice soun...
- 06 Aug 2017, 13:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Creation Sustains
- Replies: 11
- Views: 15772
Re: Creation Sustains
The last stanza
a vast improvement
to the original.
a vast improvement
to the original.
- 05 Aug 2017, 04:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12702
Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer
Thanks Bob
trouble is its so long,
I guess some stories can't be short.
trouble is its so long,
I guess some stories can't be short.
- 04 Aug 2017, 03:34
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Why We Do Not Return
- Replies: 7
- Views: 13475
Re: Why We Do Not Return
A large audience for street theatre. The lead actor in a coat of many colours. He weaves a story in Tamil, I can't quite follow his thread. My family intolerent of my whim glare, I stop watching, move further on from the flourecent lights, into the dark. I ponder on such delights. My driver says it'...
- 03 Aug 2017, 11:47
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12702
Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer
Ah Bernie, you live and breathe poetry, every trembling breath of you, it's life and death to you, on your dying bed you will whisper and the nurse will put her ear to your mouth and you will utter the greatest line the world has ever known. I know these things. Your back in form, thet shattered leg...
- 02 Aug 2017, 21:41
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12702
Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer
Thanks Bob,
Good point,
but a tall order for me, I will try.
Good point,
but a tall order for me, I will try.
- 02 Aug 2017, 03:44
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12702
A Bright and Sunny Day
“ . . . I think the world will come to an end amid the general applause from all the wits who believe that it is a joke.” Søren Kierkegaard It rotates somnolently in its four hour cycle, a mile long, black and dusty, weighing in at seventy thousand million tons, it leaves a trail of ice particles b...
- 27 Jul 2017, 15:49
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2017:
- Replies: 11
- Views: 21176
Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2017:
Michael,
would it be possible to indicate what poems have gone through to the IBPC each month?
would it be possible to indicate what poems have gone through to the IBPC each month?
- 27 Jul 2017, 15:47
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Monarch Butterflies
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10057
Re: Monarch Butterflies
I like this Bob. you've had some good crits. Monarch Butterflies (cut butterfly, too much of a clue?) Each year love sometimes seems as remote as any oyamel forest. [maybe: as far off as the sacred firs] Much like these legendary lovers, [are they legendary, another word perhaps, pollinating lovers]...
- 24 Jul 2017, 13:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Air India
- Replies: 10
- Views: 16052
Re: Air India
A prolific time for you these past two months, glad you got the bug to write again. So good to see you well and happy, writing is your game. L3 vicissitudes (a change of circumstances or fortune typically one that is unpleasant or unwelcome) As you are using a name I feel bridge should be in capital...
- 18 Jul 2017, 21:06
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed for May IBPC 2017 Congrats bernie (HM)
- Replies: 1
- Views: 6606
Re: Poems that placed for May IBPC 2017 Congrats bernie (
Well done Bernie,
back on track.
back on track.
- 16 Jul 2017, 14:27
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Agostina Segatoria Sitting in the Cafe du Tambourin
- Replies: 7
- Views: 13113
Re: Agostina Segatoria Sitting in the Cafe du Tambourin
I like the new version Bob, Bernie has drawn more colour from the frame. Maybe the title could shorten to: Cafe du Tambourin. Sitting with my coffee I fell in love with Agostina, the owner. I traded sketches of flowers for meals, Maybe: Sitting with my demitasse I fell for Agostina's rich aroma as s...
- 13 Jul 2017, 15:14
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2017
- Replies: 14
- Views: 27560
Spammer Daily Journal
The Forum is now listed in Spammer Times
a
a
- 11 Jul 2017, 22:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12805
Re: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru
I like it, the second version, you bring your old way of writing yet it is different somehow, more like my own. I liked how you introduced the British garden. I am impressed with how you developed the poem, the first version so succinct but some poems we like so much we want it to run into prose. I ...
- 11 Jul 2017, 00:46
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Essay in Monochrome
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7899
Re: Essay in Monochrome
Thanks Bob and Bernie,
This is basically ekphrastic.
This is basically ekphrastic.
- 11 Jul 2017, 00:33
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Carparthian Break
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6271
Re: Carparthian Break
Again, a new name has dragged this up from the depths,
I only workshopped it out of courtesy to you.
Thanks for the input.
I only workshopped it out of courtesy to you.
Thanks for the input.
- 11 Jul 2017, 00:31
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Killing them Softly (2012)
- Replies: 17
- Views: 29813
Re: Killing them Softly (2012)
Bob, thanks for feedback.
Some new names are dragging up very old poems.
This one represented this forum some months ago without a result.
But thank you anyway for the time put in.
Some new names are dragging up very old poems.
This one represented this forum some months ago without a result.
But thank you anyway for the time put in.