Search found 131 matches

by judyt547
24 Jul 2013, 08:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Replies: 11
Views: 26804

Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation

id love that, ichi. really. Best way to start is just by laying down lines without trying to fancy them up. One after the other, and keep doing that until you find a line or two that works. Then take those two lines start with them. Again. you've got a good attitude, and that can be a rare thing amo...
by judyt547
14 Jun 2013, 04:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25876

Re: Dry Dock Road

i thought the idea was to crit the poem not the poet. sometimes line breaks are used in free verse to indicate breath stops. I will agree that they could be better used here. Frank, if you choose to use breath stops, use them the way you would use a rhyme scheme: consistently and with care. Same goe...
by judyt547
14 Jun 2013, 03:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Replies: 11
Views: 26804

Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation

as it stands now there is really nothing to pick apart. it's a solid block, and the only way to pick it apart would be to scrap the form and try free writing. Think about what you need to say and what you want to say and just write it down. No attempt at fancy, no attempt at poesy. and along the way...
by judyt547
14 Jun 2013, 01:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Replies: 11
Views: 26804

Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation

ichiozi, you're a good sport. That's half the battle right there, isn't it. It also helps to read as much poetry from as many different writers as you can. We are all mimics, to one degree or another, and the more you read the more you find your own personal voice . I would also like to see what you...
by judyt547
14 Jun 2013, 01:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Replies: 11
Views: 26804

Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation

This is, to be blunt, all cliche. the sing song repetition detracts from what might be a good poem--but only with a great deal of work. Arguing with people who are trying to help is not the way to go, btw. I suspect you wanted us to tell you this was marvelous, don't change a thing, when what they a...
by judyt547
18 Jan 2013, 07:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Painting Mrs Roth's Apt.
Replies: 17
Views: 37026

Re: Painting Mrs Roth's Apt.

agreed this is a beautiful, quiet, complicated poem. You manage to bring together past and present, farming, death, and all those amazing colors. My only real nit in all of this is "wall where the eyes of Jesus hung"; perhaps if you could phrase it a bit differently. The wording implies that just th...