Search found 1028 matches
- 13 Aug 2017, 05:36
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Siberian Highway
- Replies: 11
- Views: 20683
Re: Siberian Highway
Thanks for commenting kenneth. I was more concerned with the cliche aspect of those objects, but I thought they were in keeping with a dream-like moment of a person who is not Russian or who hasn't lived there.
- 12 Aug 2017, 06:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Learning English in Japan
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7939
Re: Learning English in Japan
Some beautiful images here. I like how they keep coming back to the title and learning a language.
- 12 Aug 2017, 06:30
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dusk
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10309
Dusk
Dusk A broken vase. Pieces swept into a corner. The serous sunset. Having to sit down, out of breath, his fingers feel for left carotid. Pulse like a night light. Peace a witness to the approaching darkness. A dog howls in the distance as if pain can be released and sleep come easy, settled in a wa...
- 11 Aug 2017, 21:07
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Carpenters Son
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14280
Re: The Carpenters Son
Not much to change in first 3 stanzas. I like the break on "good". I like the absence image. It's the final stanza that ruins the poem. It's telling me instead of showing. A boring little philosophical summing up of what the reader should get from this poem.
- 11 Aug 2017, 03:56
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Lazarus (revised)
- Replies: 8
- Views: 15053
Lazarus (revised)
Lazarus The house was small, few windows. The corners dark and dusty like an old mausoleum. Someone seemed to have just left each room as he entered, a sweet, acrid odor lingering. Torn and crumpled writing paper littered the floors. He unfolded and smoothed a piece as if he had picked up the wind ...
- 09 Aug 2017, 05:39
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Siberian Highway
- Replies: 11
- Views: 20683
Re: Siberian Highway
Thanks Mark
- 06 Aug 2017, 21:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: He loves the light
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7351
Re: He loves the light
Thanks Bernie, I've changed the legs line, will probably work on this some more, lengthen it.
Thanks Bob, you're right. That cunning beast must go. Working on it when I have time. Hope to have a revision later today.
Thanks Bob, you're right. That cunning beast must go. Working on it when I have time. Hope to have a revision later today.
- 06 Aug 2017, 05:34
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: He loves the light
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7351
He loves the light
I removed the cunning beast part of S3L3, may make more revisions in the next few days. Thanks He loves the light in her room. A low flame that accentuates profiles, follows the edges of complex relationships, secrets rubbing a hole in every conversation. A canopy of shadows. An insufferable cloying...
- 06 Aug 2017, 05:33
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Moonlit Orinthologist
- Replies: 20
- Views: 29308
Re: Moonlit Orinthologist
really like the narrative you've added to the initial images that were captivating. It all works well together.
- 04 Aug 2017, 03:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Why We Do Not Return
- Replies: 7
- Views: 13474
Re: Why We Do Not Return
A large audience for street theatre. The main actor wears a jazzy coat. In Tamil, he weaves a story but I do not follow the thread. My family is not tolerant of my whims, so we stop watching, move further on away from the tube-lights, into the village night. I try to put meaning into the blare. My d...
- 04 Aug 2017, 02:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Creation Sustains
- Replies: 11
- Views: 15768
Re: Creation Sustains
meenas maybe something like this: The kitten whimpers his half shut eyes close and open. On the highway an accident the driver's eyes lock and spread nothing left but a reflection. A flash of lightning the road ahead illuminated then blackness until morning. Just a poor example that might stimulate ...
- 03 Aug 2017, 02:50
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: I Told Her To Send It Out
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11798
Re: I Told Her To Send It Out
Thanks everyone, Siva, you're right about the last line, I've taken it out.
- 02 Aug 2017, 17:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Siberian Highway
- Replies: 11
- Views: 20683
Re: Siberian Highway
Thanks Bernie Bob Michael
- 01 Aug 2017, 02:44
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming August IBPC 2017:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 20461
Re: Upcoming August IBPC 2017:
I'm not representing any other board, pleased to represent Block among such accomplished poets as Bernie and Bob. My poem is unpublished and my original work. Hopefully we'll get 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Billy Howell-Sinnard bhowellsinnard@gmail.com Siberian Highway I dream of me in large, canvas- covered...
- 28 Jul 2017, 07:06
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Siberian Highway
- Replies: 11
- Views: 20683
Siberian Highway
Siberian Highway I dream of me in large, canvas- covered trucks barreling through Siberia, radio blasting Cossack music. The driver laughs like a rapid river, offers me shots of vodka, cigarettes. We crash through wooden barricades, wrap ourselves in heavy fur skins. Someone's always chasing us, bu...
- 27 Jul 2017, 01:53
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Sit Down, Let's Talk About Hidden Things
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6140
Sit Down, Let's Talk About Hidden Things
Sit Down, Let's Talk About Hidden Things At least, try. Somewhere in the lies is the truth, like grass beneath the snow. If it takes a few beers, go ahead, but you may not remember, or tomorrow, you'll call it silliness. The mirror goes a long ways back to where it no longer reflects. Let's throw o...
- 27 Jul 2017, 01:52
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Air India
- Replies: 10
- Views: 16048
Re: Air India
Lovely accents and tones that say so much. Good poem. Nothing to change. Maybe you'll add more? I see you've turned to shorter poems.
- 27 Jul 2017, 01:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Monarch Butterflies
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10057
Re: Monarch Butterflies
Just my thoughts, take or leave, nice little poem: Monarch Butterflies Each year love seems as remote as any oyamel forest. These legendary lovers set off from Canada into the air like swimmers into choppy seas. We, too, have fought turbulence with nothing but will and stamina for the chance to rest...
- 24 Jul 2017, 17:23
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: revised: Orchid Lounge
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7043
Re: Well, Shake It Up, Baby, Now, Work It On Out*
Yeah, that line rubbed me wrong, too. I'll try to come back and rewrite the whole thing. I just felt like writing something last night and ripped it off as is in the post. No time to fix it right now, if it's fixable or if I want to fix it.
- 24 Jul 2017, 06:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: revised: Orchid Lounge
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7043
revised: Orchid Lounge
revised: Orchid Lounge A sunken bar, the old songs I never forgot. 'Well, shake it up, baby, now, work it on out."* My body knew, but I didn't. I danced the twist in a white shirt, saddle shoes. My first drink an innocent sip. The adult, sawdust dance floor, the smell of perfume and alcohol. Rub of ...
- 21 Jul 2017, 23:42
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: "disembark" (poem prompted by photograph)
- Replies: 6
- Views: 13750
Re: "disembark" (poem prompted by photograph)
When I read the last stanza I'm thinking this has taken on the refugee and immigration ban. Yes, no? I like first stanza much better.
- 20 Jul 2017, 20:41
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: I Told Her To Send It Out
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11798
Re: I Told Her To Send It Out
I love that I have gotten such divergent responses to this poem. Thanks Bernie, I'll consider your suggestions. I've had a couple of poets like the Jesus part. I feel like I've succeeded in some way when I get conflicting responses which seems to be true of a lot of my poems. Thanks Meenas.
- 13 Jul 2017, 01:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: I Told Her To Send It Out
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11798
I Told Her To Send It Out
I Told Her To Send It Out "Don't waste your time. Haven't seen anybody iron since my mother." The iron hisses, puffs of steam rise like I imagine the immaculate body of Christ left the earth, too hot for the world to touch, then no more. "I always want more. Don't you?" She smiles, ignores me, know...
- 13 Jul 2017, 01:08
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru
- Replies: 7
- Views: 12801
Re: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru
Like this, Bernie, but I would end this with the next to the last stanza:
We trace some of Pizarro's path.
The children, the llamas, the stones
do not remember him.
We trace some of Pizarro's path.
The children, the llamas, the stones
do not remember him.
- 13 Jul 2017, 01:06
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Swallows of Capistrano
- Replies: 8
- Views: 15324
Re: The Swallows of Capistrano
Bob, I agree with Bernie. Though I'm not sold on the end. It just doesn't seem strong enough, then again, maybe it should not be overpowering. I like the new version.