Search found 1983 matches

by FranktheFrank
21 Dec 2023, 00:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Revisions
Replies: 7
Views: 4345

Re: Revisions

Like this. Very good.
And here I am sleeping
on a roof of a rich hotel,
a thin cloud
my blanket,

the moon hovering over me
as if I’ve grown feverish
under her watch./quote]
by FranktheFrank
20 Dec 2023, 01:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard

You have to stick to you guns, Caleb.
If you really believe in something then that is what you should do.
All we ca do is make comments.
by FranktheFrank
20 Dec 2023, 01:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trophy of War Christmas (2023)
Replies: 4
Views: 1864

Re: Trophy of War Christmas (2023)

I've sent it off Bob, without much hope.
I can always cut back later.
This is a 'found' poem and I am using, in the main,
the protagonists words i.e. Yarden Roman-Gat.
by FranktheFrank
20 Dec 2023, 01:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Poem - removed for publishing
Replies: 3
Views: 1907

Re: Christmas Poem - removed for publishing

I am hoping to complete one next year Bob.
A mix, some from here, some from the other forum, and some from poems
that I wrote before I joined here and published myself for friends.
I may ask you and Michael to write a preface.
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 18:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trophy of War Christmas (2023)
Replies: 4
Views: 1864

Trophy of War Christmas (2023)

Trophy of War Christmas (2023) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-middle-east-67755515 19th December 2023 Found ‘O hush tumult, ye men of strife, and hear the angels sing.’ Hymn by: Edmund Hamilton Sears (1810-1876), It Came Upon the Midnight Clear. Yarden Roman-Gat, an adult married woman was abdu...
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 15:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard

Okay, fine, I write mostly narrative too. Bob often tells me to cut. The virtue of a prose narrative poem is that it explains a lot but it can be overdone. The pleasure is often found in the plot, the story if you like. Economy of words is important though as it isn't prose per se. Shock is the reas...
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 15:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Poem - removed for publishing
Replies: 3
Views: 1907

Christmas Poem - removed for publishing

Poem will be published in January 2024 All published poems will be reposted after publication on the Writer's Block where I served my writing apprenticeship being tutored by Bernie Henrie and Bob Bradshaw who gave unstinting service. My thanks also to other poets who have helped. My thanks also to b...
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 15:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for publishing
Replies: 3
Views: 8359

Re: Removed for publishing

This Poem will be published in March 2024
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 15:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Removed for Publishing
Replies: 4
Views: 5283

Re: Removed for Publishing

It's been accepted for publishing, Michael. Should be out in April 2024
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 15:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard

My first thought is wordy, with too many asides
and explanations. But it is an interesting last stanza.
1. How did he choose a painless death
2. what did he do to hasten his own death
3. and why did he choose to die at all.
by FranktheFrank
19 Dec 2023, 02:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

Haha, Bob - that's a thought. I walked into the computer room my high heels clicking buttoned up my blouse to hide my camisole so as not to inflame the young men Too many men lolling about and one big guy loading screens up on a table Just messing about like kids do He turned his gaze on me, 'Hello,...
by FranktheFrank
18 Dec 2023, 12:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

I will work on it Michael, I did enjoy my first draft very much.
It wasn't really a five foot Japanese woman as N, Bob, but it could have been.
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 23:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

Thanks Bob, I was joking around. I did enjoy writing this poem.

I guess the Big Guy learned that the old adage, The Bigger they are, the harder they fall, is true.

Yes, ironic reaction is correct.
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 22:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

I actually thought dry twig was my original, and the jelly. Strange how these clichés become part of us. Yes, I just wanted to give the reason for the bouncy floor, it could go, I agree. I am the most reasonable of people. The thought that I come over as an hairy ape shocks me I mean I only ever str...
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 15:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

Hi Caleb,

I'm saying N and the poet are not related.
The Gender of N is not mentioned
It's not an autobiographical poem by the author
Parts of the poet's life may have crossed over in some of my poems.

Thanks again for entering into the spirit of workshopping.
ieuan
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 10:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Re: Big Guy

I will whittle it down Bob, thanks, it'll take me some time. Thanks Caleb. N could be a slight placid sort of gal or a gentle academic who wouldn't normally hurt a fly who wears pinz nez glasses and has a light limp from the war caused by falling down stairs, she served in logistics as a clerk and n...
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 03:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Guy
Replies: 22
Views: 12662

Big Guy

Journal Entry Conceit 16 December 2023 I walked into the computer room The big guy was there again Messing about with his mates egging him on Piling the V.D.U.’s on one table I couldn’t settle down to some work The lecturers in the opposite room ignored the kid, overweight and full of self full of v...
by FranktheFrank
17 Dec 2023, 03:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Tulip
Replies: 15
Views: 12195

Re: Red Tulip

He could say, 'While a red tulip opens its mouth.' [Present tense]
by FranktheFrank
16 Dec 2023, 17:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Watching autumn
Replies: 5
Views: 3425

Re: Watching autumn

I agree with the poem's sentiments, we should strive to become
better poets but more than that, better people. Falling leaves
remind us that we too have a limited life span allotted to us
and that all this will come to an end soon enough and we will
return from whence we came, to the earth.
by FranktheFrank
16 Dec 2023, 16:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Red Tulip
Replies: 15
Views: 12195

Re: Red Tulip

Yeah, why are you breaking on the black, Bob?
by FranktheFrank
16 Dec 2023, 01:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: All Things Are Crooked (version 2, with small cuts)
Replies: 13
Views: 5774

Re: All Things Are Crooked (version 2, with small cuts)

Caleb, we don't need all this apologising or arguing over comments. We're not here to agree or debate. You've set the poem on the board. We thrash it and trash it or give accolades You say thanks. End of story. I've been told I'm a cunt. That's critiquing at its worse. No point worrying about it. ie...
by FranktheFrank
16 Dec 2023, 01:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: All Things Are Crooked (version 2, with small cuts)
Replies: 13
Views: 5774

Re: All Things Are Crooked (version 2, with small cuts)

I tend to agree with Bob, it is unnecessary wordy, something Bob points out in my work pretty regularly. I've known Bob for a number of years and he is the least offensive poet on here. As a draft it's okay, but you could cut. How you cut is up to you. I don't think the guy in the poem was being off...
by FranktheFrank
15 Dec 2023, 15:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Camille at Asile de Montdevergues
Replies: 13
Views: 14892

Re: Camille at Asile de Montdevergues

I have edited, Caleb to meet with your observations.
by FranktheFrank
15 Dec 2023, 13:59
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Camille at Asile de Montdevergues
Replies: 13
Views: 14892

Re: Camile at Asile de Montdevergues

Thanks, Caleb, good critique. I may adjust, runs away vs hops away. I can't see her hopping though. Lunatic is a lunatic is a lunatic, I'm not into woke. I may suffer for that. I agree on the weak line 'alas not to be' Who is it line, I did have a photograph of her sculpture of a huge black beast wi...
by FranktheFrank
15 Dec 2023, 13:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ode to My Eyebrows
Replies: 9
Views: 3789

Re: Ode to My Eyebrows

The world can be changed by force, obviously. Caleb's poem is trying to show that even though his strength is fading as N grows older yet he retains certain aspects and still has the ability in some way to change events for the better. Bob has reminded me with his post, I should have welcomed you he...