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I like it, the second version, you bring your old way of writing yet it is different somehow, more like my own. I liked how you introduced the British garden. I am impressed with how you developed the poem, the first version so succinct but some poems we like so much we want it to run into prose. I ...

Thanks Bob and Bernie,

This is basically ekphrastic.

Again, a new name has dragged this up from the depths,
I only workshopped it out of courtesy to you.

Thanks for the input.

Bob, thanks for feedback.

Some new names are dragging up very old poems.
This one represented this forum some months ago without a result.

But thank you anyway for the time put in.

You may be correct Siva, until the forum has a genuine test of validness for writers or poets these sad demons will enter and post whimsical and trite remarks that have no bearing on the work or on reality. I suppose the admin is tired of removing them because without a valid test they will keep on ...

Siva

Sorry to say but:

1. The nomination cut off-day has long gone

2. Nominations should be entered in the Palaver thread for the appropriate month

3. Michael is now taking nominations for September

Our communal breath held tight with the seat buckles as the plane descended in the Carpathian dusk. Sunlight glinting on titanium wings. We landed with a tremendous jolt, then asked to clap the pilot despite a hard landing. He grinned as we disembarked, teeth daring us to complain. Cheap air travel ...

Thanks Bernie

Looking back it doesn't seem too bad now.

I do need a sharper ending, I will think about it.

I will contact you.

You've done well in the past with your understatement style and this is in the same vein. I just feel you need to open with a bang, He was violent, and killed himself the shock to a little girl must have been immense. I like the way she honours him, calling him Monsieur the ending could contrast the...

Bernie has brought up some great points, pointers even. Adeline Ravoux Looks Back at the Night Van Gogh Shot Himself [you don't need all this - my own view] I would prefer as a title Adeline Looks Back] I'm often asked about that night when he entered our house, clutching his stomach. [personally I ...

Maybe

1. name

I am flummoxed:
No pm

West of Eden He sits high in the chair, the barber chats as he cuts his sideboards, he listens attentively. Outside, the pavement shines from falling rain, he walks towards the camera collar turned up, wide shoulders hunched, accentuated by the cut, a lopsided fag in his mouth. At the farm, he strik...

1. Bernie's Late Winter, suggest title change to 'Winter'

2. Billy's It's an old Story

3. Not sure

Yeah Bernie,
all the emotions: dejection, attraction, despair, hope,
music, light, reality, looming disaster, love,
fear of death, hope, love.

Enjoyed

thank you.

Thanks guys
It is a weak title, I got stuck

Maybe it comes under flash fiction Michael

But, its the best I can so I'm afraid.

I will put my thinking cap on.

I’d always been true, never lied, nor pretended with him. He wasn’t my Daddy, but sometimes I'd wished. The plate hit the wall, peach slices slid scything the custard, golden colours blended. I’d wanted those peaches. He’d walked out, I missed him, knew, hoped, prayed he’d be back. Not for her, for ...

As you know Bernie I liked your original poem very much, the new version of the last stanza is a huge improvement and it adds to the poem immeasurably in my opinion. Naked man, I drape you in a used suit and black shoes, halogen lights bloom in the city across summer roofs shining into the closed ey...

Good suggestions Michael, I concur
and altered accordingly.

I accept Bernie's nomination for my poem: Frosted Garden.
Thank you Bernie.

I nominate Bob's

'Lounging in Garden'

for the June IBPC.

Bernie has been kind enough to nominate my: Frosted Garden,
I will accept the Nomination if it meets the criteria for this forum's
selection process. I await further information on the subject.

Thanks Bernie, I accept any nominations gladly and especially from you. I am so pleased you are back in the rut of writing, more of in the groove than rut, but anyway so good. Missed your amazingly informative and very long (enjoyable) reviews. Your poem stuck with me for a long while I struggled wi...