Search found 84 matches

by FrankDyer
13 Jul 2013, 00:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25874

Re: Dry Dock Road

I thought it was a good poem.
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Automatic Writing on Silence.
Replies: 3
Views: 11248

Re: Automatic Writing on Silence.

I saw it as a comparison between he western way with nuns and their silence and the east with their swamis I though it could be made easier to read by paragraphing. Natural breaks when you have finished from the west and then make the comparison with the eats. Silence is a pretty empty subject at be...
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Trunkshow   (for all seasons)
Replies: 3
Views: 11192

Re: Trunkshow   (for all seasons)

It left me cold and shaken a little at a visual image of nakedness and hairs clinging to a mean body.
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Talking To Myself Without Praying
Replies: 6
Views: 17733

Re: Talking To Myself Without Praying

It would be capital 'F' for Father in a biblical reference.
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Longplayer
Replies: 3
Views: 12809

Re: Longplayer

Quite hopeless, the ramblings of a dysfunctional mind.
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Elm Tree
Replies: 2
Views: 10816

Re: The Elm Tree

Quite hopeless, and yet you tried. I will leave others to tell you how to do it.
by FrankDyer
05 Jul 2013, 18:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25874

Re: Dry Dock Road

Thanks very much for your reply. It is a poem I have been working on for several years. It is personal, yes and it is an echo of the past turning through my mind. It represents a journey and that journey is the start of my life. I could explain it in great detail and fill pages of what it means, but...
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 16:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: [size=150]Purana Quila[/size]
Replies: 6
Views: 18770

Re: [size=150]Purana Quila[/size]

Beuatiful evocative picture of an alian society with all its intimate family details, religion and culture. A vertable portal into the east.
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 16:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walking Past Midnight
Replies: 3
Views: 13251

Re: Walking Past Midnight

Brilliant!
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 16:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Trail of Bodies
Replies: 2
Views: 11204

Re: A Trail of Bodies

I'm sorry I did not read this poem before, it was posted almost a month ago, but I've been away for a while and so it's my loss. I htought, before I had even seen it, one of Billy's short poems, but I was wrong. You knew I would think that anyway didn't you. I love stroy telling and this poem tells ...
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 15:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Replies: 11
Views: 26802

Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation

Starting each line with 'Once I' is not uniques and facinatingly clever, it is to me boring and mindlessly repetetive. If you did that one thing and cut out those extraneous words it would immediately look better and would read better. You play with words, either carelesly or is it a deliberate atte...
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 15:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Waiting for life
Replies: 1
Views: 8608

Re: Waiting for life

I assume 'thoughts' at the end of the poem is not in fact part of the poem? And that you are eliciting our thoughts about your work. One thought came to my mind, the word 'banal'. It may be this is not the word you were looking for, but something tells me you expected it.
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 15:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Go ask Hamlet, I know he'll know"
Replies: 3
Views: 12305

Re: "Go ask Hamlet, I know he'll know"

A veritable tome compared to most of Michael's work. This one deserves my attention, it is one of poems that reflect some musing on the eternal nature and of God, but with a slight twist. We know about angels but Michael aludes to strangels, a tongue twister in our minds or should it be strange ange...
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 15:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Study in Collapse
Replies: 6
Views: 17838

Re: A Study in Collapse

If this poem is punched as a series of statements that we are asked to accept as profound and axiomatic then there is a problem as some of the statements don't hold true and some even seem contradictory. The title tells us little and the end word is confusing, 'oops' is meant to be funny or does it ...
by FrankDyer
13 May 2013, 15:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25874

Re: Dry Dock Road

Woetrame, I can see you have put some work into this. I don't get 'dig' in the first line of your critique. 'Crincle' is not a regular word I agree, it is a word that I had intended to break to the mind of the reader a sound of the spokes that make that metalic tingle as the wheels turn round. I don...
by FrankDyer
14 Mar 2013, 02:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Rows of Unanswered Poems
Replies: 2
Views: 8773

Rows of Unanswered Poems

After a while I noticed people gave up as if responding was beneath them. Or maybe they were upset, some complained that no one wrote a critique on their masterpiece... only it wasn't good enough to be place in any class. Few thanked the poet who laboriously followed the forum rules, who painstaking...
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 19:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: SAND BETWEEN MY TOES
Replies: 3
Views: 12084

Re: SAND BETWEEN MY TOES

On entering Hell’s gates I am stopped, Satan grins “It is good to see you”. I do not speak there is nothing to say. . . I stare down at the red sand, it stares back. I cannot feel the dry wind as it blows dust on an empty horizon. I see men weeping they do not see me. In the distance there is a mou...
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 18:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Which Wolf Should I Feed?
Replies: 2
Views: 10132

Re: Which Wolf Should I Feed?

I don't think it is any good. Why you ask? Why is it no good? Putting aside really bad English usage such as 'i' instead of 'I' which seems to indicate you have found a new and cleverer way of writing in the English language, who needs rules man? You have orphan lines such as: 'In my heart are born'...
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 18:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25874

Re: Dry Dock Road (I can Hear you all Groan)

Why indeeed?
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Surrogate
Replies: 4
Views: 12452

Re: Surrogate

It is a poem, did nothing for me. We don't just want to hurt you, the pain and suffering are just by-products of our resposes. I hope this did not hurt too much.
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Purple Cabbage
Replies: 5
Views: 15521

Re: The Purple Cabbage

Don't invite me to dinner Siva! Good poem. But then, you know that.
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "magian"
Replies: 3
Views: 11887

Re: "magian"

Very good.
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)
Replies: 1
Views: 7963

Re: He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)

It is hesitant, as if the poet has hickups and so the flow is borken up. There is no need for full gramtical sentences in poetry, there is licence and yet it is a stucatto effect that spoils. I like the subject, I wanted to enjoy it more. You can make something out of it, keep at it..its worth it.
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Dry Dock Road
Replies: 10
Views: 25874

Dry Dock Road

Again I ride the mist filled roads to the sounds of the morning tugs that pull unwilling vessels laboriously against the turning tide. My wheels crincle along with the ripple of the hard rubber bands that circle my metal tinned wheels. My senses assailed by the pungent odour of the sewer outlet I mu...
by FrankDyer
11 Mar 2013, 02:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: JOURNEY THROUGH SMOG
Replies: 5
Views: 17046

Re: JOURNEY THROUGH SMOG

Good.