Search found 84 matches
- 13 Jul 2013, 00:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25874
Re: Dry Dock Road
I thought it was a good poem.
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:41
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Automatic Writing on Silence.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11248
Re: Automatic Writing on Silence.
I saw it as a comparison between he western way with nuns and their silence and the east with their swamis I though it could be made easier to read by paragraphing. Natural breaks when you have finished from the west and then make the comparison with the eats. Silence is a pretty empty subject at be...
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Trunkshow (for all seasons)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11192
Re: Trunkshow (for all seasons)
It left me cold and shaken a little at a visual image of nakedness and hairs clinging to a mean body.
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:34
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Talking To Myself Without Praying
- Replies: 6
- Views: 17733
Re: Talking To Myself Without Praying
It would be capital 'F' for Father in a biblical reference.
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Longplayer
- Replies: 3
- Views: 12809
Re: Longplayer
Quite hopeless, the ramblings of a dysfunctional mind.
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:31
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Elm Tree
- Replies: 2
- Views: 10816
Re: The Elm Tree
Quite hopeless, and yet you tried. I will leave others to tell you how to do it.
- 05 Jul 2013, 18:21
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25874
Re: Dry Dock Road
Thanks very much for your reply. It is a poem I have been working on for several years. It is personal, yes and it is an echo of the past turning through my mind. It represents a journey and that journey is the start of my life. I could explain it in great detail and fill pages of what it means, but...
- 13 May 2013, 16:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: [size=150]Purana Quila[/size]
- Replies: 6
- Views: 18770
Re: [size=150]Purana Quila[/size]
Beuatiful evocative picture of an alian society with all its intimate family details, religion and culture. A vertable portal into the east.
- 13 May 2013, 16:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Walking Past Midnight
- Replies: 3
- Views: 13251
Re: Walking Past Midnight
Brilliant!
- 13 May 2013, 16:08
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Trail of Bodies
- Replies: 2
- Views: 11204
Re: A Trail of Bodies
I'm sorry I did not read this poem before, it was posted almost a month ago, but I've been away for a while and so it's my loss. I htought, before I had even seen it, one of Billy's short poems, but I was wrong. You knew I would think that anyway didn't you. I love stroy telling and this poem tells ...
- 13 May 2013, 15:55
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
- Replies: 11
- Views: 26802
Re: Critique my poem? yeah I'm quite bad at punctuation
Starting each line with 'Once I' is not uniques and facinatingly clever, it is to me boring and mindlessly repetetive. If you did that one thing and cut out those extraneous words it would immediately look better and would read better. You play with words, either carelesly or is it a deliberate atte...
- 13 May 2013, 15:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Waiting for life
- Replies: 1
- Views: 8608
Re: Waiting for life
I assume 'thoughts' at the end of the poem is not in fact part of the poem? And that you are eliciting our thoughts about your work. One thought came to my mind, the word 'banal'. It may be this is not the word you were looking for, but something tells me you expected it.
- 13 May 2013, 15:28
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: "Go ask Hamlet, I know he'll know"
- Replies: 3
- Views: 12305
Re: "Go ask Hamlet, I know he'll know"
A veritable tome compared to most of Michael's work. This one deserves my attention, it is one of poems that reflect some musing on the eternal nature and of God, but with a slight twist. We know about angels but Michael aludes to strangels, a tongue twister in our minds or should it be strange ange...
- 13 May 2013, 15:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: A Study in Collapse
- Replies: 6
- Views: 17838
Re: A Study in Collapse
If this poem is punched as a series of statements that we are asked to accept as profound and axiomatic then there is a problem as some of the statements don't hold true and some even seem contradictory. The title tells us little and the end word is confusing, 'oops' is meant to be funny or does it ...
- 13 May 2013, 15:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25874
Re: Dry Dock Road
Woetrame, I can see you have put some work into this. I don't get 'dig' in the first line of your critique. 'Crincle' is not a regular word I agree, it is a word that I had intended to break to the mind of the reader a sound of the spokes that make that metalic tingle as the wheels turn round. I don...
- 14 Mar 2013, 02:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Rows of Unanswered Poems
- Replies: 2
- Views: 8773
Rows of Unanswered Poems
After a while I noticed people gave up as if responding was beneath them. Or maybe they were upset, some complained that no one wrote a critique on their masterpiece... only it wasn't good enough to be place in any class. Few thanked the poet who laboriously followed the forum rules, who painstaking...
- 11 Mar 2013, 19:20
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: SAND BETWEEN MY TOES
- Replies: 3
- Views: 12084
Re: SAND BETWEEN MY TOES
On entering Hell’s gates I am stopped, Satan grins “It is good to see you”. I do not speak there is nothing to say. . . I stare down at the red sand, it stares back. I cannot feel the dry wind as it blows dust on an empty horizon. I see men weeping they do not see me. In the distance there is a mou...
- 11 Mar 2013, 18:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Which Wolf Should I Feed?
- Replies: 2
- Views: 10132
Re: Which Wolf Should I Feed?
I don't think it is any good. Why you ask? Why is it no good? Putting aside really bad English usage such as 'i' instead of 'I' which seems to indicate you have found a new and cleverer way of writing in the English language, who needs rules man? You have orphan lines such as: 'In my heart are born'...
- 11 Mar 2013, 18:46
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25874
Re: Dry Dock Road (I can Hear you all Groan)
Why indeeed?
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Surrogate
- Replies: 4
- Views: 12452
Re: Surrogate
It is a poem, did nothing for me. We don't just want to hurt you, the pain and suffering are just by-products of our resposes. I hope this did not hurt too much.
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Purple Cabbage
- Replies: 5
- Views: 15521
Re: The Purple Cabbage
Don't invite me to dinner Siva! Good poem. But then, you know that.
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: "magian"
- Replies: 3
- Views: 11887
Re: "magian"
Very good.
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)
- Replies: 1
- Views: 7963
Re: He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)
It is hesitant, as if the poet has hickups and so the flow is borken up. There is no need for full gramtical sentences in poetry, there is licence and yet it is a stucatto effect that spoils. I like the subject, I wanted to enjoy it more. You can make something out of it, keep at it..its worth it.
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Dry Dock Road
- Replies: 10
- Views: 25874
Dry Dock Road
Again I ride the mist filled roads to the sounds of the morning tugs that pull unwilling vessels laboriously against the turning tide. My wheels crincle along with the ripple of the hard rubber bands that circle my metal tinned wheels. My senses assailed by the pungent odour of the sewer outlet I mu...
- 11 Mar 2013, 02:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: JOURNEY THROUGH SMOG
- Replies: 5
- Views: 17046
Re: JOURNEY THROUGH SMOG
Good.