"in the moog"
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
"in the moog"
Donna
disco diva
singing I feel love ly
high noon where solstice meets with moon:
Summer
from body parts
but there is no last dance
always another song for her
freed voice
Re: "in the moog"
This is beautiful, Michael!
I have no nits to it, and I would like to see "in the moog" go forth and represent the Block before the IBPC judge.
I hope you go for it.
pen
I have no nits to it, and I would like to see "in the moog" go forth and represent the Block before the IBPC judge.
I hope you go for it.
pen
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: "in the moog"
Thanks pen,
for the IBPC nom nod; let's wait a bit to hear from others.
It would be a joy to represent with this linked tiered cinquain-poem
prompted/inspired by and celebrating the creative spirit of Donna Summer.
Dare I say an ekphrastic experience conducted by her creative kinship.
It has received favorable reviews elsewhere, where it is formatted center - a la centerstage/spotlight.
Someone has suggested other than "strong voice;" but I'm not sure, and nothing else has occurred.
In keeping w/ the linking aspect of the cinquain form, the current wording yields:Donna Summer strong voice
So far, if not broke, don't fix.
Meanwhile, pen, I believe you'll enjoy this Disco epic masterpiece - an electric marriage of moog(machine) & human song (genuine voice)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_o7aSj ... 3377CC9616
This section below @ about 3:40 reminds me of a psalm. Enjoy on this Sunday evening Michael (MV)
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.
I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.
for the IBPC nom nod; let's wait a bit to hear from others.
It would be a joy to represent with this linked tiered cinquain-poem
prompted/inspired by and celebrating the creative spirit of Donna Summer.
Dare I say an ekphrastic experience conducted by her creative kinship.
It has received favorable reviews elsewhere, where it is formatted center - a la centerstage/spotlight.
Someone has suggested other than "strong voice;" but I'm not sure, and nothing else has occurred.
In keeping w/ the linking aspect of the cinquain form, the current wording yields:Donna Summer strong voice
So far, if not broke, don't fix.
Meanwhile, pen, I believe you'll enjoy this Disco epic masterpiece - an electric marriage of moog(machine) & human song (genuine voice)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_o7aSj ... 3377CC9616
This section below @ about 3:40 reminds me of a psalm. Enjoy on this Sunday evening Michael (MV)
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.
I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.
Re: "in the moog"
Michael,
Thank you for the link - I enjoyed! You are so good at those, and also at correlations, for which I am most grateful.
I smile.
pen
Thank you for the link - I enjoyed! You are so good at those, and also at correlations, for which I am most grateful.
I smile.
pen
Re: "in the moog"
I don't see anything clever or even remotely poetic about this piece Michael. It is however very much like the rest of your work.
Re: "in the moog"
"strong voice" seems like it didn't reach enough for the poem's conclusion.
But I do agree that the rest of it shouldn't be touched.
Love Miss Summer.
Cheers!
Yo
But I do agree that the rest of it shouldn't be touched.
Love Miss Summer.
Cheers!
Yo
Re: "in the moog"
Michael---
am not clear about the age of these comments....even my poetry pal Yolly---if only this signaled her return to these Forums....
however,
I strip lines and only use lines 3,4 and 5.
do you need the singer?---before she found God...whom I love, luv, with unabashed joy.
but the "moog" reference distracts from then haiku feeling of the poem.
bernie
am not clear about the age of these comments....even my poetry pal Yolly---if only this signaled her return to these Forums....
however,
I strip lines and only use lines 3,4 and 5.
do you need the singer?---before she found God...whom I love, luv, with unabashed joy.
but the "moog" reference distracts from then haiku feeling of the poem.
bernie
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: "in the moog"
I have been hoping to reply sooner as I have been jazzed that someone surfaced this project from 5 years ago
(after Donna was lifted to that absolutely disco-opera house in the Haven of the Humane)
and I agreed w/ Yoly then, but had never found something stronger than "strong voice" -
now with the lift from archives, the canary has inspired a phrasing I believe that elevates this layered cinquain-poem:
always another song for her
freed voice
and, stronger, too, is to change
Summer
the body parts
to
Summer
from body parts
Thanks to Yoly for sharing her initial observation, and to sokkimlay for resurfacing the thread,
and to those who then added recent comments this Summer 2017;
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it[
Michael (MV)