Never posted for critique. A few short ones...

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mrrecord
Posts: 2
Joined: 28 Feb 2013, 10:25

Never posted for critique. A few short ones...

#1 Post by mrrecord » 28 Feb 2013, 10:32

Salle d'attente

Salle d'attente,
a most dreadful margin.
Hands clasped, furrowed brow, ruminating,
lonely arms empty.

The fine redolence
of pure rapture
thatched by time's will,
tempered by semantics,
given to fate,
freely, if begrudgingly.

The clear blue skies
of future's eyes
swim unfettered
in the mind's circle.
The silt abides if undisturbed.

It is murky now,
with Moray and Charlatan
cavorting near the reef,
waiting to serve themselves.

I'll just blend in with the scenery
and wait.

Goodbye.

The Harper Lee glow
came from green meadows
of the northeast kingdom
Atticus peering through the
reeds
portly English jowls
flapping with the head bob as he barrelled toward me.
He didn't fetch much
but he could sit cross-legged with you
and smoke a pipe
discussing Tolstoy
and Solzhenitsyn.
Other times he'd nudge you bedside
five in the morning
ready for his feeding,
tail thwacking vases off the coffee table.
Once I asked his advice
about my problems.
He sat in front of me
exhaled
panted some
wagged his tail
and placed his head on my lap.
That's all i needed.
Goodbye.

One Point

Foil walls
drapes the hungry soul
eager for a return
to nascent thoughts
waiting in the flesh

Daydreaming troglodyte
sways unabated
man out of time
pinched by Hermes

All at one point
Calvino bring us
once again
from scattershot

Truth's bordello
forever changed
back to the big bang

Poem

Why?
The skies come so easily
like clockwork
muddling the sauce
Blue is the eye of love
Brown is the try from above
who cares?
I do.
I care because life is not blue
like day's grey
or brown like the
murky waters linger
which will not stop me from swimming
(or swinging)
my body stretches
I'm only trying to fetch
the love that will wretch
us from each other
and ourselves
Love is an anomaly
that's its beauty
that's its power
Every chance at an hour

Short Exhortations

Why do you visit me so?
I did not ask for you
I did not open my heart to you
I definitely did not invite you
I finally poke my head out of the sand
And you're right there to lop it off;
right there to remind me
Of broken mirrors
Of endless heartache
Of life thatched by others'
decisions I cannot control

For it's things like these
that deaden my soul.

FrankDyer
Posts: 227
Joined: 17 May 2011, 06:28

Re: Never posted for critique. A few short ones...

#2 Post by FrankDyer » 11 Mar 2013, 01:43

Its a poem, I just would like to follow the story and make sense of it.

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