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"tax man"

Posted: 22 Apr 2013, 04:51
by Michael (MV)
in full
moon light
the spider
while the snake
into a rope
with a judas


Re: "tax man"

Posted: 22 Apr 2013, 05:56
by Billy
I like this minimalist, especially the ending, "judas jerk"

Re: "tax man"

Posted: 06 May 2013, 19:17
by Woetrame
I like this, and the 'judas jerk' is a fine phrase perfectly placed.

In terms of interpretation I read that workers like us are the spiders and the snake is the tax man, but that's not an immediately obvious interpretation. Possibly consider changing 'the spider' to 'we spiders' plural.

The reference to a 'full moon light' is subtly ironic, and fits nicely.

Good work

Re: "tax man"

Posted: 16 Sep 2013, 01:13
by ednamode
i like this poem.
it is beautiful in its simplicity whilst saying everything that needs to be said and more.