lest we forget the dogs, man

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

lest we forget the dogs, man

#1 Post by Billy » 03 Jul 2013, 03:41

This is one of the poems I read at Race Unity Day, it's probably more of a rant or performance poem. I will probably revise the whole thing some, especially the last 3 or 4 stanzas, they seem weak:

lest we forget the dogs, man

“The barking of dogs
is loud on every side:
Where is the lion
of the forest of Thy might,
O Chastiser of the worlds?”

listen, man
the dogs are still barking
not the dogs of my childhood, man
I’m a child of the tube
not the fallopian tube, man
the cathode ray tube
black and white, then color
man but it was all white
on the screen
the majority of the time

until the day of the dogs, man
not Rin Tin Tin, not Lassie
come to rescue me

the snarling dogs
spittle of hatred
dripping from their jowls
you know what I mean man

you wonderin’
why I’m sayin’ man
so much

everybody was "man"
in those days

hey, man, how you doin’
hey, man, it’s cool, man
man, that’s righteous

I got a theory about that, man
you listenin’, man

THE MAN
didn't exist anymore
we all were the man
like the democratic man of Whitman

but who’s
the real man, gentlemen?
"the women"

the Holy Leafs
on the Tree of Life
that stands in the middle
of the New Jerusalem

they will be
for the healing of the nations

"Ere long the days shall come
when the men
addressing the women, shall say:
‘Blessed are ye! Blessed are ye!
Verily ye are worthy of every gift.
Verily ye deserve to adorn your heads
with the crown of everlasting glory,
because in sciences and arts,
in virtues and perfections
ye shall become equal to man,
and as regards tenderness of heart
and the abundance of mercy
and sympathy
ye are superior’."

Yeah, man, the women

But I was a child of the tube
the perfect white family
Father Knows Best
Leave It To Beaver
Roy Rogers
Superman
the American dream
justice for all, man
but who were the all?

I hear the dogs barking
in the distance, man
do you hear them?

the same little men
holding the leashes, man
fear dripping
from their sunburnt foreheads
white bellies hanging over
black belts
their eyes hidden behind sunglasses
their smiles more vicious
than the growls
of the dumb animals
inbred to kill and maim
what they didn’t understand

that day it all changed, man
I was no longer a child
hiding under my desk
with my cigar box
survival kit beside me
believing I would live
through a megaton explosion
under a mushroom cloud

there they were
on my black and white screen

people just needing
to sit in the first open seat
after a hard day’s work

people tired of holding their water
until they could find
the right restroom

people thirsty
lookin’ for a drink of water
wantin’ a meal
from the same place they worked, man

and there were the dogs
snarling, thrashing at the leash
and those vicious smiles
like Lennon sang, man
"smile as you kill"

at the end of those leashes
the little men’s
ignorance and hatred
that they were dying to let go of
their fear turned on others

but where are the dogs, man
I hear them in the distance
in memory

now they gotta hide, man
but that breeds dyin’
not fast enough, man
change is never fast enough
ask the Freedom Riders
they know about change
and what it takes, man

“lo! certain doves of holiness
were sore tried within the claws
of the dogs of earth”

it takes courage, man
patience and perseverance
it takes prayer, man
it takes faith
and that’s love, man

love is faster
than a speeding bullet
more powerful
than a locomotive
love's able to leap
hatred and prejudice
in one bound

Superman couldn’t do that, man

we need a shot of love
as Dylan sang
to cure this disease, man
we need to vaccinate
our children with love
so they don't get infected

we're carriers and sometimes
don't know it, man
we gotta search our hearts
for the sleeping dogs
of prejudice

those old hounds
don't know what to do
their tails between their legs

maybe they'll realize
what their purpose was
before all that inbreeding
of ignorance and fear
was done to them

they were meant to be
men's best friends

the world needs
an example
cuz all we got
is that cathode ray tube
I mean flat screen HD
we can see the blood
today I couldn’t see
back then
and it’s still flowing

we don’t need anymore
trained dogs of prejudice
and hate

lest we forget the dogs, man
let's move on
let's be what we want
the world to be, man

“Say: Never will the barking of dogs
deter the Nightingale
from warbling its melodies.”




those parts in quotations are from the Bahá'í Writings

IapCharon
Posts: 17
Joined: 13 Jul 2013, 06:08

Re: lest we forget the dogs, man

#2 Post by IapCharon » 20 Jul 2013, 17:48

Dear Billy,

I think the 'meat' of the poem is in these lines:

But I was a child of the tube
the perfect white family
Father Knows Best
Leave It To Beaver
Roy Rogers
Superman
the American dream
justice for all, man
but who were the all?

I hear the dogs barking
in the distance, man
do you hear them?

the same little men
holding the leashes, man
fear dripping
from their sunburnt foreheads
white bellies hanging over
black belts
their eyes hidden behind sunglasses
their smiles more vicious
than the growls
of the dumb animals
inbred to kill and maim
what they didn’t understand

that day it all changed, man
I was no longer a child
hiding under my desk
with my cigar box
survival kit beside me
believing I would live
through a megaton explosion
under a mushroom cloud

there they were
on my black and white screen

people just needing
to sit in the first open seat
after a hard day’s work

people tired of holding their water
until they could find
the right restroom

people thirsty
lookin’ for a drink of water
wantin’ a meal
from the same place they worked, man

and there were the dogs
snarling, thrashing at the leash
and those vicious smiles
like Lennon sang, man
"smile as you kill"

I like the controlling metaphor, it's very good in how it is employed. I like the ranty, performance texture, but man-o-man....it becomes testy sometimes...interrupting a thought just as it's about to form, so you may want to take special care of not peppering too much or it will overpower the real flavor. I think the other competing strands, as in the departures on love and women, seem less like rants more like lectures, bearing explanations, quick-fix-band-aid-panacea for all ache type super-tylenolesque cliches, I feel they take the real bone away, in the very least, from this dog! Good work. My best. IC

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