These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone

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Billy
Posts: 952
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone

#1 Post by Billy » 08 Sep 2013, 22:56

These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone

There are many things I fear.
Walking away. Living.
Opening a door into darkness.

Just going to sleep,
the getting there
over many disjointed paths,

my fragile breath sinking before me.
The words I say and forget,
then say again

while peering through the blinds
into the eyes of the beast
that lives wherever I do.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1654
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 17 Sep 2013, 08:27

Hi Billy,


The title & first line verge on redundancy; perhaps merge   :)


esp liked: "my fragile breath sinking before me."


consider the next 2 lines as:

The words I say, forget
then say again



The last stanza is Frankenstein:

"while peering through the blinds
into the eyes of the beast
that lives wherever I do."


^^ and with a bit of play on "blinds"

8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 

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