These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone
There are many things I fear.
Walking away. Living.
Opening a door into darkness.
Just going to sleep,
the getting there
over many disjointed paths,
my fragile breath sinking before me.
The words I say and forget,
then say again
while peering through the blinds
into the eyes of the beast
that lives wherever I do.
These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: These Are The Things I Think About If Left Alone
Hi Billy,
The title & first line verge on redundancy; perhaps merge
esp liked: "my fragile breath sinking before me."
consider the next 2 lines as:
The words I say, forget
then say again
The last stanza is Frankenstein:
"while peering through the blinds
into the eyes of the beast
that lives wherever I do."
^^ and with a bit of play on "blinds"
Michael (MV)
The title & first line verge on redundancy; perhaps merge
esp liked: "my fragile breath sinking before me."
consider the next 2 lines as:
The words I say, forget
then say again
The last stanza is Frankenstein:
"while peering through the blinds
into the eyes of the beast
that lives wherever I do."
^^ and with a bit of play on "blinds"
Michael (MV)