Bringing Up Children

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meenas17
Posts: 740
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Bringing Up Children

#1 Post by meenas17 » 23 Mar 2014, 12:51

Spend more time with your children

that would be for a promise

looking after them with care

would prove to be a bliss.



Spend time not money on them

as the attention you devote necessarily

hastens in a great progress definitely

that would be an achievement in the float.





Spending money on them and on their wish

could lead them to a growth phenomenal

being like a cat on the wall watching deliberately

aiming on a rise or a slip into a fall.



The extravaganza you put forth

putting them in expensive boarding schools

pulls them off from you two-fold

creating a distance in proximity and affection.



Pampering them with largess in all

Settling them in comforts in full

reposes them in a faith untoward

they not knowing the reality in an entertain.



That be the way to bring up children

monitoring them closely yet away

being not an expense too much nor too little

a balanced juxtaposition that would delight.
meenas17

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1730
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Bringing Up Children

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 23 Mar 2014, 22:00

Welcome meenas17


in general, there is more telling here than showing.

Poetry reveals, not tells.

sensuous(imagery) not cerebral(idea)



esp liked: "Spend time not money on them"

^^ that line has prompted my pen to its own cinquain-poem - haven't composed in cinquain form recently

and I'll post it in its own thread. Thanks,


and again, welcome, meenas17, to the Block


:)

Michael (MV)

 

 

 
 
 
 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Bringing Up Children

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 24 Mar 2014, 21:43

meenas

I find this poem quite preachy.I do hope you will change your style of writing and your topics are so 'didactic'.

Siva

dyerfrank
Posts: 71
Joined: 09 Nov 2013, 03:17

Re: Bringing Up Children

#4 Post by dyerfrank » 26 Mar 2014, 23:50

Spend more time with your children
that would be for a promise
looking after them with care
would prove to be a bliss.

Spend time not money on them
as the attention you devote necessarily
hastens in a great progress definitely
that would be an achievement in the float.

Spending money on them and on their wish
could lead them to a growth phenomenal
being like a cat on the wall watching deliberately
aiming on a rise or a slip into a fall.

The extravaganza you put forth
putting them in expensive boarding schools
pulls them off from you two-fold
creating a distance in proximity and affection.

Pampering them with largess in all
Settling them in comforts in full
reposes them in a faith untoward
they not knowing the reality in an entertain.

That be the way to bring up children
monitoring them closely yet away
being not an expense too much nor too little
a balanced juxtaposition that would delight.

The poem has an odd style, probably deliberately so as to mislead or take us down that garden path. It is ironic, tongue in cheek sort of poem starting with one point of view... spend time with ones children and reversing this sound advice completely in the latter stanzas... send them to a boarding school. The English usage is weird and I wonder what the aim is? to confuse or to make us think. I did not enjoy it but it could work depending on the application a song or a film or a book on bipolar diseases.

We stopped working abroad because of our children, we wanted them close to love and hold. One did extremely well the other would have benefited from a strict discipline and personal teaching. As it happened we were being selfish and wanted to enjoy our children. I feel the author is saying just that, spelling out the pros and cons, I just wish the English was not so tortuous

_________________

meenas17
Posts: 740
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Bringing Up Children

#5 Post by meenas17 » 28 Mar 2014, 08:25

dyerfrank,
Amused to read that this would work on a book on bipolar diseases, on a song or a film.
Sorry to have tortured you with my writing style.

meena
meenas17

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