Saturday summer night

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Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Saturday summer night

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 13 Jul 2014, 09:49

 
the full moon
supersized on high beam
riding with the light of the sun

 
 
 
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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Saturday summer night

#2 Post by Billy » 14 Jul 2014, 00:31

nice haiku

I suggest compacting:

full moon
riding with the sun
on high beam
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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Saturday summer night

#3 Post by meenas17 » 14 Jul 2014, 07:27

I feel


full moon
riding like the sun
on high beam.

would sound better.
meenas17
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