Removed for work-shopping

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
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Chris
Posts: 155
Joined: 12 Mar 2009, 11:42

Removed for work-shopping

#1 Post by Chris » 18 May 2015, 22:25

Removed for work-shopping.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Head-On Collision...

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 20 May 2015, 03:54

 
Hi Chris,

upon a 1st read, recalls to me Randall Jarrell's "The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner" (1945):

From my mother's sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose.


8)

Michael (MV)

 

 

 

 

Chris
Posts: 155
Joined: 12 Mar 2009, 11:42

Re: Head-On Collision...

#3 Post by Chris » 20 May 2015, 10:23

Hi Michael,

Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment. :)

Kind regards,

Chris

Chris
Posts: 155
Joined: 12 Mar 2009, 11:42

Re: Removed for work-shopping

#4 Post by Chris » 22 May 2015, 10:05

Frank, as promised a couple of days ago, I've removed this poem for posting elsewhere, where appropriate bodywork
and a complete engine overhaul, may restore the vehicle to a roadworthy State.

Thanks for your kind words, I much appreciated the discourse.

Chris

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