My Garden Cooled Her Heels

[BobBradshaw]

My Garden Cooled Her Heels


as winter lingered. I was impatient,
having long ago pruned the irises

when they lay exhausted,
flopped over.

For weeks I worried. Would she outgrow
being a problem child,

unable to bloom, no matter
the time spent on her?

Spring finally here, my garden
is now like a teenager

filled with nervous
energy, her first boyfriend

on his way to pick her up
for a concert.

She is no longer gangly
but hitting growth spurts,

soon to be poised for womanhood.
How well she will pose--buds

hanging down her wisteria's gown,
necklaces with purple gemstones.

[FranktheFrank]

'My garden' three times is a bit too much Bob.

[Michael (MV)]

Hi BobBradshaw,


Although, not a major concern to this reader-writer,

the 2nd occurrence

For weeks I worried. Would my garden
always be a problem child,

could be as

For weeks I worried. Would she
always be a problem child,



The couplet form is apt for tending this extended metaphor




Michael (MV)

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Michael. Your suggestion is a good one. Best, Bob

[FranktheFrank]

I said the same thing Bob, you are not responding.

[BobBradshaw]

Sorry, Frankly....I just didn't notice it.

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi Bob,

another variation occurs to me:

For weeks I worried. Would she outgrow
being a problem child,

or with this lineage -

For weeks I worried. Would she
outgrow being a problem child,




Michael (MV)

Thanks, Michael. Your suggestion is a good one. Best, Bob

 
 
 
 
 

[FranktheFrank]

That's fine, we can all overlook.

But critiques is important, I get a lot out of
seemingly negative critique and my writing
has improved because of it.

[BobBradshaw]

Thanks, Michael....I have incorporated your suggestion 'For weeks....'. Best, Bob