From valley floors to mist clad crags,
old stone boundaries upwards drag.
These monuments from a time before
tell of turmoil, toil and woe.
Wild life and flora inhabit, grasp,
to cling to life where life has passed;
find in the hollows of the stones
shelter, peace to make their homes.
Ancient markers subside and fall,
sheep browse, sleep beneath the walls.
Graze the mosses, leave their mark
food for beetles and the lark.
Adders creep in unawares
as do grass snakes, darting stares.
Lizard vie with slow worm clones
to lie, bask on sun-soaked stones.
New holes appear and soon are filled,
new tenants enter and are thrilled,
give thanks and bless the men of yore
for building walls, their daily chore.
Moss, lichen, algae, tares take hold.
Mother Nature ever bold.
Heather, bracken, gore take root,
nettles, brambles follow suit.
Lovely Cymru, her walls adorn.
Hills and Valleys homeward borne,
leading Cariad leading home,
to hearth, love and heaven's loam.
*****
Cymru - Wales
Cariad - darling
Dry Stone Walls of Wales
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: The Mine
This poem has a potential much like your wonderful poem 'Trousered Women'. It just needs to be trimmed down For example, the first stanza can be cut down to something like the lines below...Sometimes more details dilute the impact. I wouldn't count words or syllables as you trim the lines. Don't worry about metrics or sounds. They can be dealt with later. Just go in and cut quickly without thinking too hard. Then step back, and consider how to deal with the poem's mechanics.
Why did father die of the black lung,
a bright red froth
bubbling on his blue lips?
Why did father die of the black lung,
a bright red froth
bubbling on his blue lips?
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: The Mine
Thanks Bob, much appreciated.