Kadaneri Ayyanar

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Kadaneri Ayyanar

#1 Post by meenas17 » 05 Aug 2019, 14:36

Submitted two versions of Kadaneri Ayyanar,
Let me know which one is better?


Revised Version

In a remote village ,
the Palmyrah trees
respond to the gentle
breeze. where in the ponds
fish swim in silence
the shepherd snores
being the only sound
that stirs the stillness,
resides Lord Ayyanar
with his six siblings.

Predominantly black,
a shimmer and a shine,
the eyes large and round
seem to fall off any moment,
with thick, red lips, his arms
resemble a muscleman's.
and a pronounced paunch,
Ayyanar is fearful.
None dare speak lies nor
intend to rob in the vicinity,.
A shudder goes down the spine
as one enters the sanctum.

Gallons of milk are poured over him
litres of curd follows, with
thousands of tender coconuts
cans of fruit juices. Ayyanar looks fresh.
Sandal powder is smeared
and scented rose water is rubbed.
Pooja is performed with least rituals.
No divine music is played,
Vada and sweet pongal
are distributed in banana
leaves.

The day long worship
comes to an end.
A family which has grown
into few hundreds congregate
in the portals on a Sunday,
prepare food, pray and seek
Karuppar's blessing.
as he is otherwise called.
At the stroke of six
in the evening they depart
leaving Ayyanar to relish in solitude.

The Palmyrah trees bow,
the owl bids adieu
with continuous hoots/





Revised version
Ayyanar, a village deity,
with sturdy physique,
rounded shoulders,
delivers untold fear.
The bulging eyes
express both awe
and benevolence

Residing in a small temple
in the middle of sparse
vegetation where Banyan
and Palmyrah trees
render life, where silence
rules with dignity.

Ayyanar is powerful
shows ruthlessness
when he hears lies,
sees impostors, and burglars.
Other deities
who stay with him extend
an aura of strength.

A long narrow winding road
to the sanctum signals a feel
of eerie.The devotee walks in
carries tender coconuts, milk,
curd, honey, fruit, garlands,
and flowers to honour Ayyanar.

The priest, a local herdsman
ignorant and innocent, conducts
the pooja with piety
does not chant mantras
nor sings hymns.

Most times the priest
turns possessed. He shouts
cries hoarse and dances.
Those around grow ecstatic
rush to hear him. Belief
being Ayyanar speaks through him.

The worship turns impressive. Simple.
and conversation like. the prayers
take place. The gathering,
turn homeward in great spirit,
after receiving the blessings.

Ayyanar is left alone
to the hoot of owls.
meenas17

Post Reply