Houses

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Houses

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Aug 2019, 03:56

The one you were born in
is a gas station now,
pumps in the playroom,
walk-up window for beer.
Daddy always drank too much.

They paved over the spot
where you buried Popeye
the parakeet in a shoebox.

The place your Mama passed away,
neck of a yard, noose-around drive.
She hung on his every word.

Her window boxes still studded
with jonquils that bloom
like madness in the spring .

The one you will die in.
Not much, to be honest,
but it's home and the cats like it.

They will find you belly up
on the recliner, half empty
bottle of Dewar's and a sheaf
of unfinshed poems.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Houses

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Aug 2019, 04:53

Terrific, hard hitting poem about a bleak environment. Great close...

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Houses

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 20 Aug 2019, 07:41

In accord with Mr. Bob

I see it on the list for IBPC


8)

Michael (MV)

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Houses

#4 Post by meenas17 » 20 Aug 2019, 09:10

Echo Bob's.
Already nominated for IBPC.
meenas17

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Houses

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Aug 2019, 18:52

Thank you guys. I didn't know if it was any good

Post Reply