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Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 20 Oct 2019, 09:07
by Kenneth2816
He dines on a supper of cold mutton,
retires to the drawing room to nap.
It is difficult to rest for all the ringing.

There have been grievances from
neighbors: why must he play so loud
that even the deaf can hear him.

The Burgermiester tut-tuts. It is a small
price to be inhabited by such genius.
Besides, does not Voltaire tell us

great men are often greatly flawed.
Staff say he is becoming abusive,
even accusing one poor girl of theft.

They find him in the floor most
mornings curled around sheafs
of music and empty wine bottles.

He knocked a hole in the wall
to better hear the church bell
in the courtyard next door.

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 20 Oct 2019, 11:11
by SivaRamanathan
K
The poem contains itself.The last stanza makes the poem.
What I think are nits:
in the floor or on the floor?Two questions,read like statements.Do they need question marks?Broke a hole',is that how you say it?
S

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 20 Oct 2019, 16:28
by Kenneth2816
Thank you Siva. I changed it

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 20 Oct 2019, 18:29
by judyt547
Oh, this is elegant. It just slides down the page, no stumbles. Bravo, bravo.

(I do think "on the floor" gives a better meaning than "in". Suddenly I see him trapped between floorboards...)

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 20 Oct 2019, 20:54
by BobBradshaw
Beautiful...love it, love it, love it.....and that great ending!

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 21 Oct 2019, 00:51
by Kenneth2816
Thank you Judy and Bob
This is your territory Bob and noone does it better.

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 21 Oct 2019, 04:57
by BobBradshaw
Thanks, Ken. You have done a splendid job....I enjoyed it immensely

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 00:34
by Billy
Again a poem with all the right details written with skill. Good poem. No nits. Are nits bugs. Nothing bugged me.

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 22 Oct 2019, 04:03
by Kenneth2816
Thanks Billy

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 27 Oct 2019, 18:20
by judyt547
ohhh one last jab.
"he dines on cold mutton" rather than "a supper of"--
it seems more formal, and more elegant.
Just a small nit, but I just saw that...

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

Posted: 27 Oct 2019, 20:32
by Kenneth2816
I originally had cold mutton and peas.