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Smelling the Roses

Posted: 24 Oct 2019, 17:45
by judyt547
When you finally realize
that smelling the roses
means finding thorns hidden
under the leaves
you no longer stop by the side of the road
to pick them
although, to be fair,
sometimes you do roll down the window
for just a whiff
as you speed on by

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 24 Oct 2019, 17:53
by Kenneth2816
Nice thought, but total cliche that brings not much new or fresh. Again, nice thought ๐Ÿ‘

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 24 Oct 2019, 19:20
by judyt547
Fair enough, but we gotta start somewhere. First thing I've written in five years. =)

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 24 Oct 2019, 20:12
by BobBradshaw
I don't think it's a cliche...it starts with a cliche and finds a new way of expressing its idea...I like the humor and the voice in this

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 24 Oct 2019, 20:48
by Kenneth2816
Gotcha judy. I'm just glad you're here

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 25 Oct 2019, 00:38
by judyt547
Bob, come sit by me on the comfy bench in the sun. You're both right. I'm glad Im here too, and no im not a sensitive blossom, I'm just delighted that one small wheel started to turn, up there. Finally. It's hard, sometimes, to realize that maybe you've used up all the words and the ideas, but maybe just being around other poets helps. I dunno.

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 25 Oct 2019, 00:50
by BobBradshaw
It helps, and poetry is usually best when itโ€™s a team effort

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 25 Oct 2019, 01:10
by FranktheFrank
Seems a good start
add the word 'prick' in there
that will add drama.
We would like you to stay
but, don't burn up.

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 25 Oct 2019, 01:32
by Billy
A senyru I wrote:

twilight
a skunk stops
to smell the roses

Re: Smelling the Roses

Posted: 25 Oct 2019, 02:13
by judyt547
Billy, i like that. Even a skunk has feelings. =)

Frank, I don't burn easily, trust me. ahaha I like your style,
but the whole idea is about a 'prick' of sorts, don't want to
be totally redundant there.