The Athenaeum

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1133
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

The Athenaeum

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 04 Mar 2020, 22:12

V2
Outside the library of Alexandria
gaping with a not- so-open mouth
more wonderful than the pyramids,
more shapely than the sphinx
magnificent knowledge bank
a dream in concrete,
an architect's poetry.

Zaharaa says ,''look, this great marvel
will take us one half day
just to go around
the circumference,
this unfinished building will be
the world's greatest when complete
Alexandria your library literally,
like the bird Phoenix must rise.''

When I discovered google earth
I mouse pointed and clicked every milli space
virtually opening like the genie of Aladdin
a treasure trove of books---
now there will be CDs in steel chests.

Tomorrow I will be able to click open
an e-book In the athenaeum of Alexandria
from my unlit desktop in a snoring bedroom.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

V1
Never in my wildest dreams
had I pictured myself outside the library of Alexandria
gaping with an open mouth.
More wonderful than the pyramids, more shapely than the sphinx
I stand in awe of such magnificent knowledge bank
a dream in concrete, an architect's poetry.

Zaharaa says ,''look this great marvel will take us one half day
just to go around the circumference,
this unfinished building will be the world's greatest when complete
Alexandria your library literally,like the bird Phoenix must rise.''

When I first discovered google earth
I mouse pointed and clicked every milli space
virtually opening like the genie of Alladin
a treasure trove of books
and now there will be CDs in steel chests.

Tomorrow I will be able to click open an e-book
In the athenaeum of Alexandria from my unlit computer
in a snoring bedroom.

Siva Ramanathan

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1534
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Athenaeum

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 05 Mar 2020, 21:53

I like this, Siva. I like the closing especially. I like some of the details, like the reference to the circumference of the library. I like the imagination in "a dream in concrete" and the spaces in google earth opening...I would replace "treasure" with something else...avoid the cliche when possible. But quite nice...enjoyable

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