Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 29 Mar 2020, 02:23

V3:
Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Two days after she died, Lizzie
looked as if she’d fallen into a pleasant dream.
Gabriel brought in yet another doctor
—but his hopes were ashes.

Overburdened with guilt,
he slipped into Lizzie’s coffin
the most valuable thing he owned:
a manuscript he was certain

would bring him fame,
slipping the poems under
Lizzie’s tresses of golden hair.
He sighed, recalling how love

had been like the long awaited
arrival of spring’s songbirds,
followed inevitably by their leaving,
their diminishing whistles fading away...

After their daughter was delivered dead,
he would often find Lizzie
sitting next to an empty crib,

her voice soft, hushing him
as he approached.

Still, they stayed together,
commitment the only tether
that kept either of them
from flight.



V2:
Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Two days after she died, Lizzie
looked as if she’d fallen into a pleasant dream.
Gabriel brought in yet another doctor
—but his hopes were ashes.

Overburdened with guilt,
he slipped into Lizzie’s coffin
the most valuable thing he owned:
a manuscript he was certain

would bring him fame,
slipping the poems under
Lizzie’s tresses of golden hair.
He sighed, recalling how devoted

they’d been in the beginning,
a pair of courting swans...

Love had been like the long awaited
arrival of spring’s songbirds,
followed inevitably by their leaving,
their diminishing whistles fading away...

After their daughter was delivered dead,
he would often find Lizzie
sitting next to an empty crib,

her voice soft, hushing him
as he approached.

Still, they stayed together,
commitment the only tether
that kept either of them
from flight.


V1:
Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Two days after she died, Lizzie
looked as if she’d fallen into a pleasant dream.
Gabriel brought in yet another doctor
—but his hopes were ashes.

Overburdened with guilt,
he slipped into Lizzie’s coffin
the most valuable thing he owned:
a manuscript he was certain

would bring him fame,
slipping the poems under
Lizzie’s tresses of golden hair.
He sighed, recalling how devoted

they’d been in the beginning,
a pair of courting swans...

Love had been like the long awaited
arrival of spring’s songbirds,
followed inevitably by their leaving,
their diminishing whistles fading away...

commitment the only tether
that had kept either of them
from flight.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1130
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#2 Post by SivaRamanathan » 30 Mar 2020, 19:59

Ready enough to be nominated for March! (Or is it April?)

Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 30 Mar 2020, 22:26

Thx, Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 Apr 2020, 03:07

I have added some stanzas...see V2...let me know...thx

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1130
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 01 Apr 2020, 07:12

I think you ccan add these two stanzas because they bring in the persona element and by so doing validate the last line.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 Apr 2020, 08:19

Thx for that... I’m glad the 2 new stanzas work

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Elizabeth and Dante Gabriel Rossetti

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 Apr 2020, 21:45

took out a couple lines

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