No Need for Redemption.

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RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

No Need for Redemption.

#1 Post by RamanathanSiva » 03 Sep 2020, 09:39

Tattoos.
The scorpion.
The string of groundnuts.
The link chain.

Snakes.
Chariots.
The plough axe.

All these rose from the skin of my dead grandmother--
she had adorned herself with pin pricks of pain
green herbs, breast milk and gypsy needles
for this day of going forward journey.

Tattoos
left whizzing through the slit in the square glass of the roof,
without a thread to keep flying. We ran out to cross check.

Have you seen birds in V formation? Now bees also like birds
formed all these symbol formations and rose higher and higher.
Tatoos were her soulmates, more intimate than the man
who had married her; they led her to the other world.
Why would she have undergone such torture,
if it were not for this?

Although we knew, she knew and that Brahmin priest
also knew that there was no need for redemption.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 03 Sep 2020, 15:03

Hi Siva, & Welcome back to your residency on the Writer's Block.

Workshop suggesting for the opening:

The scorpio, the string of groundnuts, the link chain, snakes, chariots, the plough axe. All

these tattoos rose from the skin
of my dead grandmother--


I especially liked this passage:

Tatoos were her soulmates, more intimate than the man
who had married her; they led her to the other world.
Why would she have undergone such torture,
if it were not for this?

Workshop consider for the close:

We knew she knew,
and so there was no need
of that Brahmin priest who also knew.

^^ and note the title isn't restated


😎

Michael (MV)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 03 Sep 2020, 21:02

Good poem. What Michael said... and good to see you!

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 03 Sep 2020, 23:33

Thanks, Michael, for your help in getting Siva past her login issues....

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 04 Sep 2020, 03:51

Your poem is nominated. Pls post it on the nom page.

RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#6 Post by RamanathanSiva » 04 Sep 2020, 10:58

Thank you to Bob and Michael.

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: No Need for Redemption.

#7 Post by Billy » 26 Sep 2020, 06:21

I really like the mystery of this poem that is also intimate and layered. Thanks

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