Heading To Freedom

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Heading To Freedom

#1 Post by Billy » 01 Oct 2020, 21:07

Heading to Freedom

Are we there, yet?
I’ve been naming
everything I see.

Heard the top ten
songs too many
times, can’t get’em

out of my head.
Coffee keeps me going.
You reach over and

make sure I'm awake.
Darkness, and wheels
turning on asphalt

can hypnotize.
The road is lighted
only a few hundred

feet in front of me.
Orion is dead ahead,
his dogs howling

at the end of leashes.
Even the stars
hunt for freedom.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Heading To Freedom

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 02 Oct 2020, 16:18

Hi Billy,

The 3 line form is apt & the lines stop & roll as they should - the skill with allusion is natural for a strong close - Admiral

Workshop-share:

Coffee keeps me rolling

or

Coffee keeps me perked


The road is lit


at the end of leashes.
Even stars
hunt for freedom.


Billy, I read your poem and wrote these 13 lines:

"awakening"

There will come a morning
I rise from my reclined lift chair
yet I will no longer
hear the rush of traffic
or feel the alarm of time & tempt

like a schrödinger's cat & a yellow canary
released & headlining at Woodstock
the hunting of & the haunting from
the illusion of headed to Freedom - out of mind -
and Infinity - more formidable than the mere redundancy of the meow-mix
from nine lives - no where over the open mic
forever turned on


Thx, Billy, for the inspiration

😎

Michael (MV)

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Heading To Freedom

#3 Post by Billy » 02 Oct 2020, 21:58

Thanks Michael, enjoyed your inspiration.

Yes, going is boring. I like rolling. Perk is too cutesy.

RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Re: Heading To Freedom

#4 Post by RamanathanSiva » 03 Oct 2020, 06:14

Billy

I like these lines.
Orion is dead ahead,
his dogs howling

at the end of leashes.
Even the stars
hunt for freedom.

Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Heading To Freedom

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 04 Oct 2020, 21:15

Solid poem. I like the short lines. The reader cruises right through this fun ride.

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Heading To Freedom

#6 Post by Billy » 22 Oct 2020, 22:19

Thanks Siva, Bob

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