The Hag

[Billy]

The Hag

She hooked onto me because I
was holding, her intuition sensed
the vapidity. Toothless in the front,
a gap the size of the gates to hell.

A sweet, hillbilly drawl. Up here
from Tennessee. Arms scarred
by the needle. She must have put
a spell on me for I was smitten.

Her bony arm around mine the rest
of the night. She asked me to shoot
her up wherever blood would rise
like a turbid serpent under her

skin. I cherished in her the same
need to experience what our bodies
could take and give back, what might
remain to tell us we were still human.



I remembered something and decided to write my own Hag

[BobBradshaw]

Poignant. The appealing touch at the end. Very strong piece.

I love this:
Toothless in the front,
a gap the size of the gates to hell.

The serpent image is also well constructed.

It’s the compassionate tone that speaks volumes, and draws us in.

[Michael (MV)]

"The needle & the damage done " --Neil Yoing

Hi Billy,

Much in accord w/ Bob

I workshop suggest without "size":

. . . Toothless in the front,
the dark gap the gates to hell

or

. . . Toothless in the front,
the dark gap to hell

^^ gap is surrogate to "gate"



.

[Billy]

Thanks Bob, Michael.

I will consider your suggestion Michael. I was thinking the way to hell is broad, to heaven narrow. So size of gap is big.

[Kenneth2816]

Pretty realistic Billy.

[Kenneth2816]

My first nom for this month

[Billy]

Thanks Ken