Love After Sixty Five

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Love After Sixty Five

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 19 Jan 2021, 16:52

At twenty we were slick
as crows backlit by the sun.

we'd serrate our blank bodies
against the whisker-weed,

skinny dip at midnight
in Bear Lake, the water kissed

your breasts like minnows.
Your hair is silver now

and your eyes are steady.
You trace the railroad track

on my chest from the by-pass.
I soothe the notches where

bright tumors once bloomed.
We are like two mystics

sage and solid, divining each
other's personal history.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Love After Sixty Five

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Jan 2021, 22:38

Wow...so sensitive and moving...with terrific lines and a fab closing. I'm not sure what "serrate" means here...and I couldn't find whisker-weed with google...

the water kissed
your breasts like minnows.

...

We are like two mystics

sage and solid, divining each
other's personal history.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Love After Sixty Five

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Jan 2021, 00:21

Thanks Bob. Whisker weed is a made up term. I used serrate and blank bodies to denote s time when N and subject were devoid of surgical scars. Didn't mean to be so cryptic.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Love After Sixty Five

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Jan 2021, 00:23

Thx for the explanation, Ken

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Love After Sixty Five

#5 Post by Billy » 22 Jan 2021, 21:16

I really like this poem. I’m not sure about the final lines. They don’t hit me like the rest of the poem. They feel over done. I’d like something more real. Just my thoughts which are worth 4 cents with inflation.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Love After Sixty Five

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 23 Jan 2021, 05:19

Thanks Billy

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