Modern Pharmacopeia

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Modern Pharmacopeia

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 26 Jan 2021, 17:41

What do I know?

I take a lexicon of pills
with names that sound
like the secret incantation
for summoning Beelzebul:

Zyprexa Celexa Latuda Effexor.

They keep the wheels
and dials inside my head
humming and the tubes
from over amping.

They keep the Secret Service
from my doorstep.

O come now Dark Lord
and devourest mine enemies.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Modern Pharmacopeia

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 26 Jan 2021, 22:55

I like this. I like the dark tone. I like how you suggest so much with so few lines. I like the chance you take with the closing stanza. Good one, Ken

They keep the wheels
and dials inside my head
humming and the tubes
from over amping.

They keep the Secret Service
from my doorstep.

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Modern Pharmacopeia

#3 Post by Billy » 27 Jan 2021, 04:28

You added that 4S since my first read and it improved the poem.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Modern Pharmacopeia

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 28 Jan 2021, 10:45

Hi Kenneth,

The linguistic of "pharmacopeia" works wonderfully with the opening.


And linguistics prompt me to workshop suggest clandestin for "secret" -

like the secret incantation

as

like the cladestin incantation


Strong finale


😎

Michael (MV)

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Modern Pharmacopeia

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 Jan 2021, 04:55

Thank you guys

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