Analogues Of Disaster

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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Analogues Of Disaster

#1 Post by meenas17 » 15 Feb 2021, 21:30

The swarm of bees
the batallion of insects
the herd of worms
come from nowhere
cling to the rose plant
stick on it so firm
as if held together
by a bond.

The plant being fecund
heavy with flowers and buds
quivers and quavers, struggles
to escape from the fastening
failing which it bows to pressure
the flowers droop
the petals fall down
the buds shrink.

The bees suck the nectar
the insects allow
none near the plant
the worms eat the roots
causing an havoc unprecedented.
The rose plant, stands
helpless alike the one
caught in an ambush,

The helplessness is striking
Can one identify the pandemic
which one encounters?. Apprehension
creates a dilemma. The withdrawals
being the bees, the agony likened
to the insects, the annihilation
synonymous of the worms,
humanity acquires the tedium
of the rose plant,
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Analogues Of Disaster

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Feb 2021, 22:30

This is good! You use imagery well and consistently. One suggestion: I would like to see the ending stanza tightened. I love these lines below, especially the "as if held together/ by a bond".
One correction: add "s" to encounter in the last stanza...which one encounters. There are a couple other places in the poem where a bit of tweaking would help. But overall I'm very happy to see this poem....That "bond" from the start held me throughout.

cling to the rose plant
stick on it so firm
as if held together
by a bond.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Analogues Of Disaster

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 16 Feb 2021, 05:17

Hi meenas,

Upon a 1st read through and before reading Bob's comment,

I find this one to be more accomplished than your other recent writes.

I hope to return with some workshoppong

😎

Michael (MV)

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Analogues Of Disaster

#4 Post by meenas17 » 17 Feb 2021, 19:19

Bob ,
I have added s to encounter.
To tweak the rest I need some help.
Thanks.
meenas17

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Analogues Of Disaster

#5 Post by meenas17 » 17 Feb 2021, 19:20

Thanks, Michael,
I am waiting for your workshopping.
meenas17

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