Cow

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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Cow

#1 Post by meenas17 » 19 Mar 2021, 18:25

Another privileged cow


is roaming free
on the road,

unmindful of
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt,

with a bell
around the neck,
keeps on crossing.

These creatures,
revered in India
as a personification
of the Hindu Goddess, Lakshmi,
relish a free from pelting to shoo status,
not allowed to any other animal.

Licensed to saunter
munching the grass,
then suddenly lying down
at leisure, imposing itself
a hap hazardous roadblock.

Drivers unexpectedly find themselves subject
to swerving the bovine round about,
sharp turning, even stopping to reverse-

all erratic detouring,
a respectful gesturing
so as not to upset
or harm the sacred cow.


It is the cow
on the road
roams free
with a bell
around the neck
keeps crossing
unmindful
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt.

The cow saunters
munching the grass
lies down in the middle
seems a possible speed breaker
making the drivers
go round, turning diagonally
reversing to avoid hurting
the domesticated animal
creating a a disarray.

Cows considered sacred
by the Hindus possess
a status no other
animals dare think of
They do not encounter
beating or pelting
instead experience
a veneration, a kind
of worship as seen,
being a personification
of Goddess Lakshmi.
meenas17

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Cow

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 19 Mar 2021, 22:16

Hi meenas17,

your poem takes me to the figure of speech --

privileged cow

or is that sacred cow, prompting me workshop-share the following embodiment. 😎 Michael (MV)


Anqother priviledged cow

is roaming free
on the road,

unmindful of
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt,

with a bell
around the neck,
keeps on crossing.

These creatures,
revered in India
as a personification
of the Hindu Goddess, Lakshmi,
relish a free from pelting to shoo status,
not allowed to any other animal.

Licensed to saunter
munching the grass,
then suddenly lying down
at leisure, imposing itself
a haphazardous roadblock.

Drivers unexpectedly find themselves subject
to swerving the bovine round about,
sharp turning, even stopping to reverse-

all erratic detouring,
a respectful gesturing
so as not to upset
or harm the sacred cow.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Cow

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Mar 2021, 22:59

I like the first stanza best. S2 could be simplified a bit.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Cow

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 23 Mar 2021, 19:02

Hi meenas17,

Not sure if you are yet aware of it:

I went into my original response to your poem "Cows," and I have added some extensive workshopping,

for your perusal & consideration,

😎

Michael (MV)

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Cow

#5 Post by meenas17 » 27 Mar 2021, 17:46

MIchael ,

Thanks,

I have cut and pasted your version.
It reads better.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Cow

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 28 Mar 2021, 00:25

Nice. I would cut the next to last stanza. It repeats essentially what has been said earlier.

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