Disharmony

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meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Disharmony

#1 Post by meenas17 » 22 Mar 2021, 21:44

Living without legs
I see through imagination
unable to move. mauled
limbs jut out like stumps.

Same as to be sans hands
a disability marked, pick
and take, write and erase
a statehood of constraint

Bereft of eyesight
darkness encompasses
colours remain unknown
figures equally concealed

Loss of smell, good and bad
an impossibility to breathe in
and breathe out, the nose
symbolizes the very existence,

The words kind and rude jump out,
the delicacies that go through,
the mouth keep life ticking,
imagine it being muffled.

So be the lack of brains
converting into dullness heart
ceasing to beat, terminates
the living ending in death,

Struck by the without
calling it a doomsday
I look at the parts in my body,
intact and functioning.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Disharmony

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 23 Mar 2021, 02:12

I like some of the lines, like

mauled
limbs jut out like stumps.

It creates an image. But there isn’t enough imagery to sustain the emotional level you are looking for.

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