Psalms for Rivers

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Psalms for Rivers

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 Mar 2021, 15:03

I am a river drunk and stumbling
toward the Ionian Sea. I cut divots
in the earth at Thermopylae
where they tell Xerxes, "molon labe,"
and he does.

I am the bank of a river in Varanasi
old as time. They burn the dead
in my arms, float votives and lotus
petals to please the gods. I am
coming to the point I can no
longer hold back all the holiness.


I am a boat on a river searching
for the drowned. They load me up
with whiskey and grappling hooks,
prod the bottom with great poles
until a face like mine appears,
and they drag it out by the hair.

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Psalms for Rivers

#2 Post by Billy » 31 Mar 2021, 00:47

Really good poem, I like the changes you made. I nom his poem.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Psalms for Rivers

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 31 Mar 2021, 01:57

That last stanza is splendid. Strong work.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Psalms for Rivers

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 31 Mar 2021, 20:05

Thank you Billy and Bob

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Psalms for Rivers

#5 Post by Michael (MV) » 01 Apr 2021, 03:28

 
Hi Ken,

Yes, the reincarnation of the finale, makes strong even stronger


1/ Maybe this suggestion will also strengthen more

Instead of the pronoun "they," workshop-consider -

in the earth at Thermopylae
where the Spartans tell Xerxes, "molon labe,"
and he does.

or

in the earth at Thermopylae
where Leonidas tells Xerxes, "molon labe,"
and he does.


2/ a typo: Should "Varnasi" be Varanasi


8)

Michael (MV)

 

 
 
 

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Psalms for Rivers

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 01 Apr 2021, 16:31

a typo: Should "Varnasi" be Varanasi

Good eye. If you knew that without having to look it up, I'm impressed.

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