. . . charges just a shilling to enter his tent
‘Now, would anyone like to be a witness?’
He shouts. His assistant is pretty
a tad too old for pubescent boys
Not too old after she shakes
her derrière
We take the bait and climb
up on stage
His props are arranged out of sight
behind the screen:
a delicate weighting apparatus
a bag with spilled black powder
a miniscule tundish
His assistant flutters around us
touching, smiling, simpering
distracting our attention
We smell her personal perfume
that flushes pheromones
and an arousing under-arm odour
We sign a .303 bullet
She inserts it into the rifled gun
and shoots him from five yards
She recoils, it gives effect, Fred squeaks
He thinks she’s killed her boss
The showman staggers back
The pouch in his belt
is as big as a post-box
We nod our heads
Yes, it’s the same bullet
Our signatures are there
We leave dispirited
Why couldn’t we expose him
call him a cheat
On further analysis we realise
we'd subscribed to the suspension of disbelief
The showman's friend
A Showman Catches Bullets in His Belt
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FranktheFrank
- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
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CalebMurdock
- Posts: 196
- Joined: 10 Dec 2023, 14:59
Re: The Showman who Catches Bullets in a Stomach Pouch
You're quite a story-teller, Ieuan. (If you want me to call you "Frank", just let me know.)
I enjoyed reading this. I feel that you could condense it a little. For example, you could drop one of these two lines and the story wouldn't suffer:
Yes, it’s the same bullet
Our signatures are still there
You choose interesting things to write about.
I enjoyed reading this. I feel that you could condense it a little. For example, you could drop one of these two lines and the story wouldn't suffer:
Yes, it’s the same bullet
Our signatures are still there
You choose interesting things to write about.
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FranktheFrank
- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: The Showman who Catches Bullets in a Stomach Pouch
Some find me interesting. Some think I'm a devil sent to wind them up.
Thanks, Caleb, I appreciate your comments.
Thanks, Caleb, I appreciate your comments.
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BobBradshaw
- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: The Showman who Catches Bullets in a Stomach Pouch
I like it all except for the last stanza. I wanted more of a punch line.
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FranktheFrank
- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: The Showman who Catches Bullets in a Stomach Pouch
I felt he was a cheat, Bob, but of course you can't go around
shooing people in the guts just for a shilling. It was his only way
to make a living, for him and his girl-friend. They'd bought a cheap
little trick from some shop for magicians and that is all they could
do. Even if she'd missed the pouch she couldn't have killed him,
just given him a fright that's all and a bad night.
The ending is like the cheap trick, a let down.
shooing people in the guts just for a shilling. It was his only way
to make a living, for him and his girl-friend. They'd bought a cheap
little trick from some shop for magicians and that is all they could
do. Even if she'd missed the pouch she couldn't have killed him,
just given him a fright that's all and a bad night.
The ending is like the cheap trick, a let down.