another story

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Billy
Posts: 997
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

another story

#1 Post by Billy » 20 Aug 2013, 08:53

another story

stars hanging out
just another night
are they looking up too

the brain splattered on the sky
that's how we know what will come to pass

lavender moons and a hip pocket
full of shiny coins rubbed smooth
the dates worn away

performance art
a giant hand
slapping the universe
did you feel it

on the backs of clouds
initials of the creator




Billy

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1682
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: another story

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 25 Aug 2013, 18:16

Hi Billy,

another story - another version of the big bang theory(story)   of genesis

I like your version, esp for the perspective of play - performance/gesture art

I like the opening


Billy, workshopped below for your perusal & consideration   8)   Michael (MV)


stars hanging out
just another night
do they look up
and forward too

the brain splattered on the sky
that's how we know what will come to pass

lavender & faded blue moons
spent in a hip pocket
full of coins rubbed smooth
the dates worn thin

gesture art
the great hand
slapping the universe
like a baby's butt
did you feel it

did you hear it
that joyful noise
do you still make it

on the backs of clouds
the imprint of the creator









Billy wrote:another story

stars hanging out
just another night
are they looking up too

the brain splattered on the sky
that's how we know what will come to pass

lavender moons and a hip pocket
full of shiny coins rubbed smooth
the dates worn away

performance art
a giant hand
slapping the universe
did you feel it

on the backs of clouds
initials of the creator




Billy

ichiozi1
Posts: 14
Joined: 01 May 2013, 04:52

Re: another story

#3 Post by ichiozi1 » 27 Aug 2013, 21:45

i really like this billy. @micheal i'm not sure it needs rewording as its very vivid as it is, but love your enthusiasm to help!

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