#Paragon

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
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Woetrame
Posts: 33
Joined: 12 Feb 2013, 03:35

#Paragon

#1 Post by Woetrame » 23 Aug 2013, 23:10

#Paragon

A Beacon finds itself, surrounded by turgid green slime;

it's base as hateful as any, where one is to be found.

I find myself become, said Beacon listing uneven;

painful and torpid, thereby an equal.


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A somewhat paradoxical poem about the forlorn act of trying.

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Billy
Posts: 997
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: #Paragon

#2 Post by Billy » 29 Aug 2013, 02:33

woe, I think this needs to be longer, more concrete, an extended metaphor, then I might feel what you're saying.

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