Dante's Outer Circles
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Dante's Outer Circles
It was the tinkling of cups
which disturbed you: sugar
and blackness, a spoon
for the madness.
Sometimes love looks like
getting your partner's coffee right.
I sucked at so many other things.
That September I wanted
to bring in the Devil's Ivy,
make cuttings for new rooting.
You had painstakingly trained
each vine to climb your rocker
and we joked about you overcome
by its bright green death-grip.
You told me it would die
if we put in on your night table,
and I didn't pick up on it when
your gaze held mine more than
a casual moment too long.
The surviving flog themselves.
There is a curse that allows
the memory to disgorge
every thoughtless act, each
unkind word ever visited upon
the dignity of the departed.
which disturbed you: sugar
and blackness, a spoon
for the madness.
Sometimes love looks like
getting your partner's coffee right.
I sucked at so many other things.
That September I wanted
to bring in the Devil's Ivy,
make cuttings for new rooting.
You had painstakingly trained
each vine to climb your rocker
and we joked about you overcome
by its bright green death-grip.
You told me it would die
if we put in on your night table,
and I didn't pick up on it when
your gaze held mine more than
a casual moment too long.
The surviving flog themselves.
There is a curse that allows
the memory to disgorge
every thoughtless act, each
unkind word ever visited upon
the dignity of the departed.
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- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Dante's Outer Rings
Splendid writing..not crits...
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- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Dante's Outer Rings
Bob thank you. I rely on you my friend.
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- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Dante's Outer Rings
Strong,
Heathcliff-strong, esp the finale
Admirable the use of epic literary allusion -
station at the top to bookend with the finale.
Although a ring is in the form of s circle,
consider the word that is used in the dantean schema:
"Dante's Outer Circles"
Kenneth, I would hope that Dante scholars would admire your way in poetry referencing his masterpiece. Maybe there is a home for your poem in a Dante journal.
And what if your poem was translated into Italian; terza rima, quite possibly
Michael (MV)
Heathcliff-strong, esp the finale
Admirable the use of epic literary allusion -
station at the top to bookend with the finale.
Although a ring is in the form of s circle,
consider the word that is used in the dantean schema:
"Dante's Outer Circles"
Kenneth, I would hope that Dante scholars would admire your way in poetry referencing his masterpiece. Maybe there is a home for your poem in a Dante journal.
And what if your poem was translated into Italian; terza rima, quite possibly
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Dante's Outer Rings
Thanks Michael. Circles it is. I have no great ambition for this. It was utilitarian for me; needed to be wtitten.
Re: Dante's Outer Circles
Michael has summed up the exquisiteness of the poem,by saying it will find a home in Dante journal.
meenas17
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- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
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- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Dante's Outer Circles
I second Michael's nomination.
Re: Dante's Outer Circles
Great poem. Fix the typo in the 5th stanza, last line.