Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Oct 2019, 09:07

He dines on a supper of cold mutton,
retires to the drawing room to nap.
It is difficult to rest for all the ringing.

There have been grievances from
neighbors: why must he play so loud
that even the deaf can hear him.

The Burgermiester tut-tuts. It is a small
price to be inhabited by such genius.
Besides, does not Voltaire tell us

great men are often greatly flawed.
Staff say he is becoming abusive,
even accusing one poor girl of theft.

They find him in the floor most
mornings curled around sheafs
of music and empty wine bottles.

He knocked a hole in the wall
to better hear the church bell
in the courtyard next door.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#2 Post by SivaRamanathan » 20 Oct 2019, 11:11

K
The poem contains itself.The last stanza makes the poem.
What I think are nits:
in the floor or on the floor?Two questions,read like statements.Do they need question marks?Broke a hole',is that how you say it?
S

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Oct 2019, 16:28

Thank you Siva. I changed it

judyt547
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Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#4 Post by judyt547 » 20 Oct 2019, 18:29

Oh, this is elegant. It just slides down the page, no stumbles. Bravo, bravo.

(I do think "on the floor" gives a better meaning than "in". Suddenly I see him trapped between floorboards...)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1573
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Oct 2019, 20:54

Beautiful...love it, love it, love it.....and that great ending!

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 21 Oct 2019, 00:51

Thank you Judy and Bob
This is your territory Bob and noone does it better.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1573
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 21 Oct 2019, 04:57

Thanks, Ken. You have done a splendid job....I enjoyed it immensely

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Billy
Posts: 952
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#8 Post by Billy » 22 Oct 2019, 00:34

Again a poem with all the right details written with skill. Good poem. No nits. Are nits bugs. Nothing bugged me.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#9 Post by Kenneth2816 » 22 Oct 2019, 04:03

Thanks Billy

judyt547
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Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#10 Post by judyt547 » 27 Oct 2019, 18:20

ohhh one last jab.
"he dines on cold mutton" rather than "a supper of"--
it seems more formal, and more elegant.
Just a small nit, but I just saw that...

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1181
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Beethoven's Rage Over a Lost Penny

#11 Post by Kenneth2816 » 27 Oct 2019, 20:32

I originally had cold mutton and peas.

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