He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)

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Posts: 1
Joined: 10 Feb 2013, 23:54

He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)

#1 Post by eshawForty » 10 Feb 2013, 23:58

On canvas bridge placed by calvary
At midnight, with infantrymen, we crossed Ely's Ford
Met by no resistance, set up camp and rested at Chancellorsville

Arose to fresh coffee
Dawn on following, we moved past Todd's Tavern

Along Brock Road
"Over there - prepare"
Breastworks were built from earth and logs

Dense forest surrounded
Low visibility at best
Artillery positioned high ground to left

Troops still arriving
Courier arrives with note
Meade's order to attack
Horse I smack

Fists flew
Enemy formations, close as smoke
Hotly engaged, musketry constantly sprayed
Fighting fierce in Wilderness
A mile back
they ran

During the night
Blazing flames caught dry underbrush
I saw
Leaning against boulder, a private scorched, covered by wounds
to remove from his pocket
a delicate letter, stained by open veins
"One last glimp..."

Clanking metal, Army of Potomac marches
Expecting yet another retreat
At decisive crossroad, Grant turned right
Hollering swept through the ranks
He turned right!

[written in the perspective of Brig. Gen. Winfield Scott Hancock of the Second Corps, my ancestor]

Posts: 227
Joined: 17 May 2011, 06:28

Re: He Turned Right (Battle of the Wilderness)

#2 Post by FrankDyer » 11 Mar 2013, 02:15

It is hesitant, as if the poet has hickups and so the flow is borken up. There is no need for full gramtical sentences in poetry, there is licence and yet it is a stucatto effect that spoils. I like the subject, I wanted to enjoy it more. You can make something out of it, keep at it..its worth it.

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