Search found 1852 matches

by BobBradshaw
16 May 2021, 06:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Holden Caulfield's Essay on Melville’s Homeric - v2
Replies: 3
Views: 65

Re: Night-School Student’s Essay on Melville’s Homeric

It’s a clever concept, a student writing cliff notes on a famous novel. And I like the touches of humor, as in these lines He plants a gold piece in the mast, nails it there with a whacking blow. That ruins the value don’t it, but they know better than to tell him. Nonetheless, it lacks the wallop I...
by BobBradshaw
16 May 2021, 05:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

Michael, in v4 I used your “swore” and changed the last 2 stanzas to 3 lines each. Thx again
by BobBradshaw
15 May 2021, 20:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

Good points, Michael. I will adjust later. Thx!
by BobBradshaw
15 May 2021, 06:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Retirement
Replies: 0
Views: 27

Retirement

Retirement I was an expert until a week ago, a yogi of technical knowledge. Now my in-box has been cleaned out. My photos removed from the walls. What's my new role at home? How can I help? I'm no handy man. The new wallpaper that I hung looks like piled laundry on the floor and car mechanics are as...
by BobBradshaw
14 May 2021, 22:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

The poem has been shortened and revised. Let me know your thoughts. Thank you.
by BobBradshaw
14 May 2021, 22:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Listening To Silence
Replies: 1
Views: 45

Re: Listening To Silence

I would like every "telling" stanza to be an image instead. Try doing it as an exercise. You have a lot to say in your poems. Images would bolster them.
by BobBradshaw
13 May 2021, 05:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Summer Unnoticed
Replies: 5
Views: 118

Re: Summer Unnoticed

My only small suggestion... remove “ for three days only”. It isn’t crucial and trimming it improves the poem’s flow a bit. Good work. And congrats!
by BobBradshaw
13 May 2021, 05:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

Michael, your revision has found a hone. Thx...

Thank you, Meenas
by BobBradshaw
13 May 2021, 05:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

Good point, Michael! The 2nd “thought” should be dealt with, and your revision is appreciated.
by BobBradshaw
12 May 2021, 01:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

I’ve revised one stanza per your suggestion, Michael. Thank you.
by BobBradshaw
11 May 2021, 20:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Summer Unnoticed
Replies: 5
Views: 118

Re: Summer Unnoticed

A good depiction of life in the pandemic. I liked the details. Enjoyed.
by BobBradshaw
11 May 2021, 04:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

The missing child line is good, but I am reluctant to add another image. It might be too many. I might “borrow” it for another piece, if you don’t mind. I will take advantage of your other suggestion. It will make the stanza more efficient. Thank you, Michael, for looking out for this poem’s best in...
by BobBradshaw
10 May 2021, 02:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

Re: The Lost Suitcase

Ken, Michael — thank you
by BobBradshaw
08 May 2021, 09:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Lost Suitcase
Replies: 14
Views: 449

The Lost Suitcase

V4: The Lost Suitcase In your suitcase that day you carried your first novel, always within reach. You expected publishers to dote over your manuscript like brides over a wedding catalog. As you turned around in the depot your throat tightened: the suitcase was gone. You would have to start over, li...
by BobBradshaw
07 May 2021, 06:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Noisy Night
Replies: 1
Views: 271

Re: The Noisy Night

I like the first two stanzas. The "five or six cooks" throws me. Is the N at the eatery observing them? If so, why since it is so noisy? If she's remembering it from an earlier time, it should be made clearer by the N. I think once that's done the poem will be better.
by BobBradshaw
03 May 2021, 20:00
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:
Replies: 11
Views: 712

Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:

I nominate Ken's "Town Square" and Michael's "inspired by those little bird-men".
by BobBradshaw
03 May 2021, 08:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:
Replies: 11
Views: 712

Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:

Ken, Michael - thank you Bob Bradshaw email: bobbybradshw@yahoo.com This poem is unpublished, my original poem, and isn't represented in any other forum for IBPC competition. My Bearded Collie I brush my bearded collie’s fur the way I brushed my daughter’s flowing hair, tenderly. Perhaps Sheri is to...
by BobBradshaw
03 May 2021, 07:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: go ahead and stand before me in the shallow light
Replies: 2
Views: 402

Re: go ahead and stand before me in the shallow light

I like the 2nd stanza best. I am puzzled by the closing stanza.
by BobBradshaw
03 May 2021, 02:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Bearded Collie
Replies: 8
Views: 2109

Re: My Bearded Collie

Thanks, Michael. You say the kindest things. Yeh, I was alluding to Frost, but I didn’t preplan it... it just kinda fell into place. Thx for noticing. You’re the 1st to mention it. Yeh, I love dog poems too. I wish there were more cat poems... but they’re much harder to write. So they’re like meteor...
by BobBradshaw
02 May 2021, 19:20
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:
Replies: 11
Views: 712

Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2021:

I nom Ken's "The Penitent" and Eira's "Circadian Disruption".
by BobBradshaw
01 May 2021, 07:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Town Square
Replies: 6
Views: 464

Re: Town Square

Darn good poem. I love the image in the closing stanza...I can hear the church bell in the chain striking the flagpole. Beautiful, clear visual.

On windy days, the chain striking
the flagpole sounds like a church bell
calling home the lost and the broken.
by BobBradshaw
29 Apr 2021, 00:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Oxygen
Replies: 3
Views: 446

Re: Oxygen

Thanks, Billy
by BobBradshaw
29 Apr 2021, 00:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paralyzing
Replies: 2
Views: 339

Re: Paralyzing

Good use of detail, as in this stanza

The sachet containing milk
lies in the basket fastened
to the gate, The newspapers
thrown by the boy remains
untouched.
by BobBradshaw
28 Apr 2021, 09:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Hunter
Replies: 4
Views: 913

Re: The Hunter

Tweaked the last line