New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Simplified....let me know...best, Bob

Thx, Ken... I will simplify it

Revised significantly...pls let me know what you think

Tweaked

Lol... love the idea of the chimp screaming when he hears the typewriter’s bell

Wonderful poem....I love the close: "get in".

v2: Can You Forgive Me Were your heart an airport, mine would be a plane --its engine in flames, the reckless pilot pleading with the tower for permission to land. v1: Can You Forgive Me If your heart was an airport, mine would be a plane --its engine in flames, the reckless pilot pleading with the ...

Break this poem up into stanzas....the first stopping at the word "disappointment". I think it will be easier to find places that could use a little revision....a good foundation has been set for a darn good poem.

v3: Bobo The Chimp Types Bobo types in his smoking jacket. Every few minutes he pauses, as if critiquing his words-- grunts approvingly. He drags his knuckles across the keyboard, screams when the margin bell rings— leaps atop the typewriter waving his arms furiously as if waving a stick at an appro...

Thx, Frank...let me think about the sedentary line....

Ah, I have a cousin who lives there....lives near Asheville....do you need to evacuate? I lived through one hurricane as a kid...power was out for over a week...winds so strong the rain passed through our walls...roofs sliding forward like tipped hats...shingles flying off like startled birds....nei...

Thanks, Ken...for your warm response

Where do you live?

v2: Penguins For years they trooped to the ice's edge and stood and looked out to sea. Elderly and sluggish they plopped in the water for a brief dip and climbed back out immediately. There hadn't been the whistling of hungry chicks from burrows in years, but last month young penguins, loaned to us ...

x

This strong, defiant woman who faces sexual assault is a memorable one....I would like to see her in more poems, just as I would like to see more Cuban poems....

Good one, Frank...I like how I'm surprised by the turn of events...good imagery, especially of the father and the smells....my only suggestion...take out one or two of the darkness, black, death words....one or two too many good writing, esp. here: Dad returning from work, smell of motor bike, petro...

tweaked

Clever...enjoyed

Thanks, Michael...I like your suggestions...I'll fold them in when I have some time...Bob

I like this, especially these lines:

I can't recall the last time I worn one
was rather skillful in tying the knot

then the Savior illuminated this apprentice-prince
with the Houdini slip
my life unknotted
then I became also creatively endowed

ok, it makes sense now....good one

Thanks, guys...I have tweaked the lines you referred to....

I like the narrator's strong voice...no wilting flower here...but I don't get the bee stings reference....I'm probably just not aware...

Ode to Ties On days like this teenage boys often give us the finger. Why? Because we drive slowly? Or because we boast about our past as if it were the only casino in Atlantic City? For us respect doesn't come from jeering at the old, from smoking the biggest toke or from drinking alcohol that could...