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Circadian Disruption

Posted: 26 Apr 2021, 01:36
by capricorn
Circadian Disruption

Maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun. Hedgehogs rest

beneath last season’s rumpled throw.
I recline on my sofa, craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

Staggering to the window, I draw
the drapes across perpetual twilight.
Lethargy overwhelms as I slump

deeper into my pillows, intermittently
drifting away, until -
sun blinks through the maples,

arms newly buttoned with buds.
Its rays weave a shawl around
my shoulders. When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

-------------------------------------------

St 1 was
Daylight dwindles, as maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun. Hedgehogs rest

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 26 Apr 2021, 09:12
by Kenneth2816
I've read about this.. I know people who are depressed in winter from lack of sunlight, they say.

You chose a nice way to write about it.
Good to read you again.

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 27 Apr 2021, 08:40
by BobBradshaw
This is just lovely. From the opening we know we're in the hands of someone who loves language...My one nit: "Daylight dwindles" isn't necessary. So great to have you back with us!

stellar:

maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun.

I love this observation...

craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

The ending is perfect.

When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 27 Apr 2021, 22:00
by Billy
I like the blinking sun. Agree with Bob’s crit.

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 28 Apr 2021, 22:59
by capricorn
Kenneth2816 wrote:
26 Apr 2021, 09:12
I've read about this.. I know people who are depressed in winter from lack of sunlight, they say.

You chose a nice way to write about it.
Good to read you again.
Thanks Ken, I seem to write about this syndrome every year. Good to be back.

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 28 Apr 2021, 23:04
by capricorn
BobBradshaw wrote:
27 Apr 2021, 08:40
This is just lovely. From the opening we know we're in the hands of someone who loves language...My one nit: "Daylight dwindles" isn't necessary. So great to have you back with us!

stellar:

maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun.

I love this observation...

craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

The ending is perfect.

Thanks for your lovely comments, Bob. It's good to be back but lockdowns have stolen my muse. This is a very old one I've rewritten. You're right about the 'daylight dwindles' I've removed.
Eira

When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

Re: Circadian Disruption

Posted: 28 Apr 2021, 23:06
by capricorn
Billy wrote:
27 Apr 2021, 22:00
I like the blinking sun. Agree with Bob’s crit.
Thanks Billy
Eira