Circadian Disruption

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capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Circadian Disruption

#1 Post by capricorn » 26 Apr 2021, 01:36

Circadian Disruption

Maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun. Hedgehogs rest

beneath last season’s rumpled throw.
I recline on my sofa, craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

Staggering to the window, I draw
the drapes across perpetual twilight.
Lethargy overwhelms as I slump

deeper into my pillows, intermittently
drifting away, until -
sun blinks through the maples,

arms newly buttoned with buds.
Its rays weave a shawl around
my shoulders. When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

-------------------------------------------

St 1 was
Daylight dwindles, as maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun. Hedgehogs rest

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Circadian Disruption

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 26 Apr 2021, 09:12

I've read about this.. I know people who are depressed in winter from lack of sunlight, they say.

You chose a nice way to write about it.
Good to read you again.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2675
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Circadian Disruption

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 27 Apr 2021, 08:40

This is just lovely. From the opening we know we're in the hands of someone who loves language...My one nit: "Daylight dwindles" isn't necessary. So great to have you back with us!

stellar:

maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun.

I love this observation...

craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

The ending is perfect.

When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1379
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Circadian Disruption

#4 Post by Billy » 27 Apr 2021, 22:00

I like the blinking sun. Agree with Bob’s crit.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Circadian Disruption

#5 Post by capricorn » 28 Apr 2021, 22:59

Kenneth2816 wrote:
26 Apr 2021, 09:12
I've read about this.. I know people who are depressed in winter from lack of sunlight, they say.

You chose a nice way to write about it.
Good to read you again.
Thanks Ken, I seem to write about this syndrome every year. Good to be back.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Circadian Disruption

#6 Post by capricorn » 28 Apr 2021, 23:04

BobBradshaw wrote:
27 Apr 2021, 08:40
This is just lovely. From the opening we know we're in the hands of someone who loves language...My one nit: "Daylight dwindles" isn't necessary. So great to have you back with us!

stellar:

maples disrobe
bedraggled crimson in the shadows
of a feeble sun.

I love this observation...

craving
carbohydrates and sunbeams.

The ending is perfect.

Thanks for your lovely comments, Bob. It's good to be back but lockdowns have stolen my muse. This is a very old one I've rewritten. You're right about the 'daylight dwindles' I've removed.
Eira

When the hedgehog

crawls out from his dishevelled bed
I rise --
and throw back the curtains.

capricorn
Posts: 382
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Circadian Disruption

#7 Post by capricorn » 28 Apr 2021, 23:06

Billy wrote:
27 Apr 2021, 22:00
I like the blinking sun. Agree with Bob’s crit.
Thanks Billy
Eira

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