Town Square

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Town Square

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 01 May 2021, 03:37

On the courthouse lawn, old grey men
pass a bottle they hide in the mouth
of a cannon dragged from the field
of some long forgotten skirmish.

They swig and swap lies about wars
and women lost, sons whose names
it is now hard to remember, forget
for a time their pain and loss, until

they snooze on benches beneath
chestnut oaks that themselves were
once young, but now missing limbs,
holes cement-filled, whitewashed.

On windy days, the metal lanyard
of the chain-fall striking the
flagpole sounds like a church bell
calling home the lost and the broken.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2675
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Town Square

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 May 2021, 07:45

Darn good poem. I love the image in the closing stanza...I can hear the church bell in the chain striking the flagpole. Beautiful, clear visual.

On windy days, the chain striking
the flagpole sounds like a church bell
calling home the lost and the broken.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Town Square

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 02 May 2021, 07:50

Thanks Bob

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Town Square

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 05 May 2021, 18:11

Hi Bob,

In accord with Bob re the resonant visual & auditory imagery of the finale.

Moreover, for me, it is the symbolic vanitas of the 3rd:

"they snooze on benches beneath
chestnut oaks that themselves were
once young, but now missing limbs,
holes cement-filled, whitewashed."

Time-weary & world-worn - the theme framed in the square of the town

😎

Michael (MV)

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Town Square

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 05 May 2021, 19:15

Thanks Michael

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Town Square

#6 Post by meenas17 » 05 May 2021, 20:35

One of your best, Ken
meenas17

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Town Square

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 09 May 2021, 21:16

Thank you Meenas

Post Reply