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Wind blows strong with a roar,
Coconuts fall on the roof, thud thud
it goes, setting the heart to pound.

Unusual of the Sun. It is 4
in the evening. Darkness casts
in full fledge, Down goes the Sun,

Could this be a bad omen?
Is the world going to end?
The throb induces a palpitation.

Lub a dub beats the heart
Mild pain radiates through the arm
travels to the wrist.

Pressure accelerates,
resting the head on a raised
pillow, I look around,

Every other thing is in place,
ceiling fan, lights, consoles
remain unscathed. it is only me.

Sun is up again,
wind has ceased,
So do I. Fig like I turn
strong and cheerful

I like these lines best...terrific detail.

Mild pain radiates through the arm
travels to the wrist.

S2 is weak. "Darkness in full fledge...." needs improvement.

"Lub a dub" seems odd in this context. It seems like the opposite of what should be happening...wild palpitations is what I expected, not a calm heartbeat. I would just take out the line.

The "thud thud" isn't strong enough. Look to make the verbs more active. Maybe something like "coconuts crash through the roof, my chest cratering under my heart's pounding ..." well, not great but you get the idea.

Why the line "So do I." It suggests that you have "ceased" as well.

And why the word "Fig" in the next to last line?

Roll up the sleeves, get to work. There's potential in this subject

Bob,

I will do with your suggestions in mind.

Wind blows strong with a roar, [suggest something like:
A monsoon wind roars or a sudden gust roars through the palms]

Thanks, Frank
I value your critique