Not A Poem About Fall

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1417
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Not A Poem About Fall

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 10 Oct 2021, 06:45

I will not write a poem about fall,
the mundane sameness of red,
yellow, brown, how the wind drives
them on dry days like refugees
across my lawn, seeking the peace,
promise of a new start in a new land.


Sometimes it dashes them, the wind,
against sidewalk and windowpane.
Others give their bodies to be burned
and I've seen them dance around the altar
of an old pine stump in my yard

Fall is unbeautiful at the border and
It's 106 in late afternoon. There is
no curbside pick up with Truck Vacs
and it's six weeks in a holding cage.
At least there's a blanket and food
where you can sleep for the first time

in months without fear of having your
throat slit or your children taken and
your home burned or the Guardia shooting.
There's clean water and if that's as good
as it is, let the next guy do a poem about autumn.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1997
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 10 Oct 2021, 08:30

This is an interesting poem, almost traditional in its opening depiction of fall. The lovely syntax and imagery of S2 is followed by the shock of the last 2 stanzas.

Especially these powerful lines:
it's six weeks in a holding cage
where at least there's a blanket and food
and you can sleep for the first time

In months without fear of having your
throat slit or your children taken

The poem’s last 2 lines change the tone yet again but they are a bit of a letdown after the previous, emotional lines.

Overall, a strong poem with twists and leaps in the hands of a fine, fine craftsman.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1417
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 10 Oct 2021, 22:52

Thanks Bob

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Billy
Posts: 1133
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#4 Post by Billy » 12 Oct 2021, 08:25

Good poem, Kenneth. Love the voice and where the poem ends up. Inspired, I think.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1417
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 13 Oct 2021, 08:52

Thanks Billy

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1902
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#6 Post by Michael (MV) » 18 Oct 2021, 17:23

Interesting because inspired!

Usually, mundanely, a fall poem is nature, season driven. Yours is political.

But then inhumanity is the fall of man in a fallen world.


The finale works for this reader-writer, especially that it references back to the initial intent of what the poem has ironically accomplished metaphorically.


Kenneth, your anti-fall poem is on my short list.

Hope this lifts your autumn season

😎

Michael (MV)

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1417
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Poem About Fall

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 18 Oct 2021, 20:58

Insightful comment as usual Michael. Thank you.
I may tinker with it a bit more

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