Training to Be a Star

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Training to Be a Star

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 Dec 2021, 09:12

v2:
Training to Be a Star

our husky was always sticking her nose
down a hole, as if it was a top hat
turned upside down, hoping to emerge

with a rabbit, an amateur magician
who time after time revealed
a tunnel as an empty sleeve.

Still Amanda never gave up, moving
from hole to hole the way
a performer goes from one

audition to another,
never giving up on a chance
at her big moment.

Today a wild fluttering clapped the air
like a duck flushed out of its reeds…
Amanda staring back happily at us

as if awaiting our reaction,
a live pigeon in her mouth.
No! No! We shouted.

She tilted her head, puzzled
that we stood--shouting
Let go! Let go!

Gently her jaw opened
and in a spluttering
the pigeon burst into the air.

We rushed to embrace her,
throwing our arms around her neck,
stroking her chin.

She gazed up into our eyes,
her light brown eyes moist,
as if she stood at a stage’s footlights,

"Encore! Encore!" drifting
down from the balconies
like a blizzard of feathers.

v1:
Our Husky Becomes a Star

Our husky was always sticking her nose
down a hole, as if it was a top hat
turned upside down, hoping to emerge

with a rabbit, an amateur magician
who time after time revealed
a tunnel as an empty sleeve.

Still she never gave up, moving
from hole to hole the way
a performer goes from one

audition to another,
never giving up on a chance
at her big moment.

Today a wild fluttering clapped the air
like a duck flushed out of its reeds…
Amanda staring back happily at us

as if awaiting our reaction,
a live pigeon in her mouth.
No! No! We shouted.

She tilted her head, puzzled
that we stood--shouting
Let go! Let go!

Gently her jaw opened
and in a spluttering
the pigeon burst into the air.

We rushed to embrace her,
throwing our arms around her neck,
stroking her chin.

She gazed up into our eyes,
her light brown eyes moist,
as if she stood at a stage’s footlights,

"Encore! Encore!" drifting
down from the balconies
like a blizzard of feathers.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Our Husky Becomes a Star

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 20 Dec 2021, 21:24

 
Hi Bob,

Thanks for sharing this family & dog portrait.   2 Workshop-shares below   -- Frère Noël 8) Michael (MV)

1/
"Our Husky Becomes a Star

Our husky was always sticking her nose"

^^ "husky" in the title; then again already in the 1st line


Stellar Canine

Our husky was always sticking her nose

or

Raising a star

Our husky was always sticking her nose

or

Training to be a star

Our husky was always sticking her nose


2/
Use the name here:

Still Amanda never gave up, moving
from hole to hole the way
a performer goes from one

and here:

Amanda gazed up into our eyes,
her light brown eyes moist,
as if she stood at a stage’s footlights,

Then the pronoun at all other occasions.


BobBradshaw wrote:
18 Dec 2021, 09:12
Our Husky Becomes a Star

Our husky was always sticking her nose
down a hole, as if it was a top hat
turned upside down, hoping to emerge

with a rabbit, an amateur magician
who time after time revealed
a tunnel as an empty sleeve.

Still she never gave up, moving
from hole to hole the way
a performer goes from one

audition to another,
never giving up on a chance
at her big moment.

Today a wild fluttering clapped the air
like a duck flushed out of its reeds…
Amanda staring back happily at us

as if awaiting our reaction,
a live pigeon in her mouth.
No! No! We shouted.

She tilted her head, puzzled
that we stood--shouting
Let go! Let go!

Gently her jaw opened
and in a spluttering
the pigeon burst into the air.

We rushed to embrace her,
throwing our arms around her neck,
stroking her chin.

She gazed up into our eyes,
her light brown eyes moist,
as if she stood at a stage’s footlights,

"Encore! Encore!" drifting
down from the balconies
like a blizzard of feathers.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Our Husky Becomes a Star

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Dec 2021, 22:02

Thanks, Michael

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